Saturday, March 05, 2005

Oppos I am Behind; Or, Retreating behind from the FEBA is easy if You have no Deadline Or; When there is no Dead line you can retreat past the FEBA

You know a lot of people would argue It's too late- that the past has destroyed the future and that the small marmots and smaller relations are all a lost cause. Yeah well I will update this after all even if I am behind if not an ass or am I a behind?

So let me chart this out here I like to reflect on a few things first of all on Bali- This was truly an overrated place wherein I was constantly hassled by idiots. I know I know Christ said if you call a man a fool you may be seeing hades- and yet that is the best way to describe these sellers of drugs and whores.

On the subject of drugs there is an old question and joke that I picked up while in my triumphant Crusader Days - Yes truth be told I was one of the force of Hell. I was a Hell Hound, a Devil Dog. This is the June 1919 Honorific given to the United States Marines - we are Hell Hounds.

But ahh back to the ole Marine joke: Marines like to call each other Crack Babies - or ask each other, "Are you on Crack?" or "Was your Mother a Crack Head?" This is an obvious joke here because the US Military routinely and religiously drug tests all of it's members. Therefore, Marines all know that NO ONE in the Marines would use Crack Cocaine or any other drugs. Ok admittedly there are a few exceptions- I mean if you look into the IRS hard enough you may well find someone who has been convicted of cheating on his taxes but it's a rare thing.

Anyhow, to make a long winded explanation clear I did in fact develop the habit of jokingly saying - "Oh he is on Crack." "Sorry I'm on Crack." when in truth I have Never ever used crack cocaine nor would I ever choose to be friends with someone who uses drugs. Now let me tell the story of my first day initial encounter with the incessant drug pushers of Bali:

the ironic situation you have these idiot Bali Drug pushers who are serious about selling drugs and say as I walk past them, "Marijuana?" "Hash?" and I out of silly habit without thinking go, "No no I Smoke crack." Immediately after this I get chased by this idiot drug guy saying, "Cocaine I get you cocaine ok?" And I go, "No no I was joking I hate drugs- get away from me." But the fault was of course my own as I should have never uttered my ingrained Crack joke...

Eventually it just got tooo old...this scenario was repeated tooooooo many times. I stroll down the sidewalk casually perusing the many shops coming back from some body surfing. A young man sees me coming and says,

"Marijuana? I get you Marijuana. You need girl? I get you girl."

This being the twentieth time this has happened to me I yell- No why are you trying to sell me drugs? You want me to get the police! Drugs are bad and I don't get prostitutes."

These idiots tried to sell me ecstasy and mushrooms too. I have no problem with shopkeepers trying to sell me goods, or taxi guys saying' "Trannzport" other than that it was mildly irritating but these illegal sellers began to make me angry. Drugs and Pimpage are two of the world's social diseases that help make the earth such a dammed place. That's right I have a generally negative view of this world- it holds much pure beauty - innocent baby smiles, verdant fields -azul seas, and white mountains; and yet all the self imposed death of it makes me regret the men who filth it. Not to say one should not try to save as much of it as can be salvaged, but on a whole it is a Dammed Wasteland full of Dammed Nonsense, Propagandized by thee Doctrines of Demons. Oppps there goes my chances at teaching in any Close Minded Public University. I will have to keep this blog a secrete - please don't tell anybody at UCLA English Department about this site.

Errr oh yeah yeah I was doing my tirade against Bali ahhh yeah it was overrated. The Ocean was sweet and I caught some monster twelve foot waves- the locals said the waves were unusually large my first day there. On the other hand, the water was riff with floating trash- plastic bags and sundry junk. Further, I felt like a rat trapped in chute with a giant bowling ball cascading towards him. The inner roads were one lane and often walled on both sides- thus when a scooter - or worse, a car came I had to crush myself to the wall or be run over. I'd say about seventy percent of the merchants and renters were polite while the other thirty percent were rude / greedy / and disrespectful. Physically grasping my shoulder will not encourage me to buy your product- but it will ensure that I never again come to your rude country. But, to end on a positive note, I never felt threatened by the very healthy and well dressed beggar kids who asked for coins- rather, I found them amusing and cute - and as far as I know they never tried to pick my pocket: My ole pal -his real face and me with beggars:

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Now I find myself confronted with large groups of students ever and anon- God bless 'em all there happy students mostly- unfortunately, I had temporally gotten out of the habit of talking sssllloooww. But, that changed as I was rewarded with looks of bewilderment this week...



Ok well this was a Bali Waterfall THAT IS NOT ME - It is my buddy:

Here is me:

FACE ME !!!

THE NEW LORD OF MONKEYS !!!

I'M NOT AFRIAD OF DEATH ARE YOU ???




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Here is some MTB Rental Abuse... Always wear a helmet mmmm it was a spur of the moment rental...




Ok well this was a Bali Waterfall THAT IS NOT ME - It is my buddy:

1 Comments:

At 5:50 AM, Anonymous beefy ninja said...

didn't know marijuana and hash would be so easy to find.

Thanks for the tip.

 

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