How Overweening Pride Overcame Good Sense and Facile Foreshadowing; Or, Pooh Knows no Pain and later eats Ice cream because he can’t find any Honey Be

Pride and Power – Madness without bounds and the Joy of Speed Unfettered by judicious Reasoning -Great Might and Little Wisdom – The destruction of Calories and Good Judgment – All these things can only surmount to One Lords Doom. A Doomed Champion of Hubris, Doomed by the Strength that Destroys the Body that Holds and Meters it Out – A servant that assassinated his Own Master. All Mortal Things Fade to Oblivion Souls will bide their time in eternity, yet my Spirit Guides my Flesh on in Foolishness. And so it is that my poor poor hide was scuffed, For even the Devil was Granted Power over the flesh of Job. Still unlike Job I must blame ny own folly on my bicycle Crash. For Pride comes before the Fall. Given that truth it’s high time I go down hard, and so I did. But, not by choice rather it was by default. Let me explicate this dundering juggernaut’s end. Or, to be more honest let me explain how my fat bottom smacked the poor asphalt and smeared it sick with my poisoned blood.

About a week ago my front derailleur broke.

Now this derailleur has been with me nigh six years and with the thousands of miles and shifts in it you have to give it credit. Unfortunately back in 1997 I chose to go on the Campy side and never to invest in Shimano. Obviously it is nearly impossible to get Campagnola in Jeju. Therefore, I decided to ignore the broken derailleur and just wait until I could order a new one from the local shop here. I did observe that the chain had a tendency to suddenly fall off; oerhaps because the frint derailleur was completely tweaked… ahhh if I only had a brain. Anyhow, brain stormer that I am I wrote it off as an incidental problem- the truth is and sorry this is not a boast just simple fact I only use little ring on the tougher more extended climbs, so it not a big deal staying in the big ring for almost all the ride. Err ah what was saying yeah so it fell off- that is the chain suddenly fell of as I was standing in a sudden sprint. And, this me to crash rather strikingly onto the pavement. I smacked it hard, I believe the still cracks there all swollen with my red blood. No no actually it was a rather insignificant crash I’m minorly scrapped. It hardly slowed me down. The irony is that I was on my way to the bicycle shop to get a new front derailleur and now I have on so everyone can be happy – or perhaps live in fear as I pass cars with more speed and insanity then the famed messenger Spider Jack of Chicago.

No no I am bragging I ride relatively defensively. The problem is I just seem to be always passing cars because they go to slow – it’s just the case that 25-30 mph is sometimes just to slow if I have a tailwind on the flats or another time when I am going more downhill. I don’t know the whole thing is kind of sad. So after I got my new front derailleur put on I went and got some Ice cream, but as I stated in the title I’ve yet to come upon any honey bee hives here. Not that I ever raid some domestic bee hive place, but like Pooh I’ve think it be a great pleasure to find a nice fat honey comb in a tree – then again I think it might be selfish since the bees would starve without their honey. So maybe I should just wait until I get home go to The Hundred Acre Wood Again.

This is ma great fat arse coiled inside this rump are muscle cells that propel me forward to Vainglorious Speed. Unlike Dark Helmet my powers do allow me to go up to Ludicrous Speed.

I was trying to get the back of my shoulder here it was soo funny I slid on my back like ten feet on the pavement, unfortunately this tore through my jersey and began to maw my shoulder but a eventually came to a dumbfounded stop.

My kind friend took my picture while crying in apathy errr I mean empathy.

To think I can still grin with all the terrible pain "No pain recruit. No Pain"

This is waht happens when you slide ten twenty feet pn your back... hmm I should do it again in leather.

How Pooh is Hurt by an Old Adult Wise Person at Night When He Returned from Discovering the Ocean; Or, An Unthoughtful Pain of a Limited English Base

I am on a not so well earned vacation. And as I said before some people work for a living...

Hard crawling farm ladies God bless 'em.

But, I was thinking a bit about my life herein. It all seems so plain, and on the occasion wherein I cross paths with certain of a few foreign teachers their bitterness is disenchanting. A sad lot they are and the Devil has takes his dues from them in tears and regret. I do the things to make it a splash but still it seems a tad bit like a the wanna-be-sleeping-sand-crab that pinched me in the sea Yesterday. Yesterday, I believe in yesterday, but not in foolish hippies like the Beatles. I know, I know Jesu said the name of "Fool" should not be given to anyone. And, I do not hold them or any other man in contempt. But, I fear their rootless hippie seeker world view will damn them- but that's not my call, Providence shall place them in due time. You know I had a few acquaintances call me sanctimonious, which perhaps is a mark of the romantic world view. No doubt the sheep herders would have called The Knight of the Mournful Countenance sanctimonious as well. But when you believe in Universal Law, and the Ultimate demonstration and Arbiter of it, then others who do not seem diluted to you. (I know the contempt thing comes up anon- no no contempt here it is sadness for others illusions and misguided blindness. For, what is sadder than a life misspent because it is based on the denial of Truth and a foundation set in sand). Delusions yes it's unfortunate the world is cursed by its own men. Sometimes I ponder: what if all men and women were innocent, loving, forgiving, and followed the Truth. What a strange world- perhaps that was the communist dream- the dream of Utopia. Although I did not like the no real parent idea put forth in Utopia.

Err anyhow, the whole point is is that ahhh I am disappointed in the the people here. God knows I say bless them all, but to be honest sometimes I do wish they'd leave my island and be replaced by a kind hearted soul, who has not been twisted by sorcery. Yeah Yeah I know that seems way Middle Ages but, lets be honest- my world view is around 11th century... Ha Ha. I do hold to the belief that Drugs are a kind of mind altering sorcery and that those who have committed themselves unto them are oft bound to the Devil like Dr. Faust, and from there bindings they come like the willful Faust to not wish escape from the Demons that played them like pawns and dipped there bodies into flames. But, let me not shortchange the power of the Truth. There is always hope for men as long as they are alive. All men can be radically changed.

Anyhow, those were my reflections on my limited interactions with a few of the misguided but never the less sentient creatures here- God bless 'em all. Now, just so as not to seem condescending and sanctimonious let me add that I myself, knowing the Way, should be more diligent in being formed and improved upon via my own knowledge of the Truth.

Now, I'd like to reflect on yesterday ahhh right. So I went biking. I do ever hate the bus:

"Forever and ever we hates bussins! forever curse the busssens! We curses its forever!"

Ergo, I packed my snorkel, suit, camera, sandals (as I rode in my Carnac click in Shoes) , lock, and faithful orangutan and set out on my road bike to Hyeopjae Beach; so ahh I left outie here and went along the side road up to the Jeju Drivers License place.

Then I made my descent far down down to Road 16. Along 16 I came upon a strange sight- can you guess what they are:

Indeed, "The sleeper must awaken." Under thier newspaper blankets these sweet melons dreamed of being used for the good of a Greater Belly.

And, so it was that Pooh of the Drooling Tongue came upon them. No no- Not a one melon did I so harm as such would be making me a monstrous melon thief.

Not far from the Beach now- see the isle in the distance?

Later, I reached Hyeopjae Beach. I saw a small angel eating ice cream, or perhaps it was a little girl I'm unsure...

I also ran into some Beach patrol officials who directed me to not sit on the paid sitting.

A strange thing about Koreans is their perchant for swimming in their clothes, I guess they do not want to tan. Or, maybe they are very modest. Anyhow here are some happy kids in their chosen "swimwear".

Then of course, I was pinched by a crab- perhaps the highlight of the swim. Unfortunately, I decided not to swim to the nearby island because there were to many speed boats jetting around pulling banana boat riders.

Now let us not forget two very cute children. The mother told them to say "Hello" to me, but as you can see they had greater sea adventures planned...

Fair thee well ocean punks, may the Lord of the Oceans and all above and beneath it let nary an ocean tear touch you.

The ocean of Jeju. Mayhap it'll suffice even for a salt dog who has tasted the mermaids' spit.

Why Pooh felt bad Whilst Walking; Or, The Evil Waffen SS in Korea?! Help Me! (Piglet)! Help!

Once upon a time I went for a balmy walk about in Jeju City. Or, if pronounced as a Korean, "Chayjew Shitee." Err anyhow I came upon a disturbing blazon. The Mark of heraldry for a now defunct organization of Elite Warriors. Namely the Waffen SS. Now let me make it clear: I DO NOT admire Hitler. He was arguably Demon Possessed. And, I would further add I think the 6 million plus Genocide of Jews and many others was a Evil that is beyond the written word to condemn. However, I did read a bit of the Biography of the German General Rommel and he did not seem wholly and purely EVIL like Adolph Hitler. But, then he was by his leadership with Hitler a Genocide Killer by default- and more than just nominally complacent in the Genocide. This web site argues differently. But, remember this is coming from the Internet. My information comes from books found at the library.
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http://www.achtungpanzer.com/gen1.htm

Erwin Rommel is one of the few commanders, who was not involved in any war crimes. Rommel was highly respected by his enemies and was considered to be the last of the knights. During the North African Campaign, Rommel often cut the water rations of his troop, so that the prisoners of war could survive. His personal papers and notes, all put together by Lucie-Maria Rommel and Fritz Bayerlein, titled "Rommel Papers" ("Krieg ohne Hass"), were published for the first time in 1950 and described all of Rommel's combat and personal experiences. In post-war years, Erwin Rommel's son Manfred became Mayor of the city of Stuttgart.

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But, ahhh I went off on a tangent. I was thinking more in line with the Evil PC Room Sign in Jeju City. Right I saw it thus:




Pretty weird aye? I went up into this PC Room and explained to the guy sitting at the desk that his SS Bird Mascot was EVIL. But, he was too poor at English to comprehend. And, let's be fair- my Korean is woeful. Still it is unfortunate that any knowledgeable person who visits Jeju will think badly of it when they see this Wafflen SS Sign. That is most people- I suppose Nazi lovers would be happy to see it. Maybe I should write a letter to the owner explaining how his sign is offensive or have a Korean friend tell him for me. I don't know I suppose it's a free country, but still there are some symbols which only serve EVIL.

How pooh came to eat Chocolate Coffee at a Cafe, And feeling bitter made a writ of the Nurses Who would not Feed Him Chocolate.

A Korean Coffee Shop Hymn...



Life grows cold and when all that is left is a warm java goblet to uphold you. Then you know it is time that God burned you like Jonah in the hot sun. It's a comfy little cafe and the nurses from the nearby hospital come in. But, what are they really without coffee? Will they have nothing, denied a cell phone, tvelivision and a cyworld site- would they exist. Would their passing have meaning? Is java the key to happiness?

The pink girl's shirt; Or, Why the kindly Pooh left the hippies face a Mystery

This poor Korean did not realize she supported that evil rebel cause that embraced drugish sorcery and base uncommitted lust. Yes I speak of the freakish Hippies those evil ones who the Cambodians and Vietnamese can thank for the American withdraw. Sometimes I think it would have been better if the USA had H-bombed the Chinese to stop them from sending in heroin using conscripts in the 1950's Korean War. Then America could have made it a proper banana republic and saved so many who suffered (and now suffer) under the Evil Communist Rule. And DO NOT argue China is not an evil state. Even now they supplant American and British interests in African countries that were once only giving oil to the colonial Powers. Oppps got off on an Imperialist tangent again- But, truth be told I am Dux Bellum Uther and Count Rothalandus of the Brenton Marches... ahhhh what was I talking about yeah yeah ahhh this kid she has a goofy hippie shirt on...

The question still remains what twisted mind would combine the snobbish preppie icon of Tommy Hilfiger and and the dirty sooo non-preppie hippie archetype? Someone in the clothing industry is a sick individual.



At any rate I have hidden the minors identity in case some little kids see her face and later mock her as a foolish hippie. Perhaps someday she will become wise and change her foolish fashion.

The High and Lofty Ladies of Jeju; Or, No My Lady, Stay Upon Your High Horse as you work your pleasure Suits; And other curious Pictures...

My Buddy is from merry ole England. He claims this women is silly because lifting loads of foods into stacked position is best done in flat platform shoes. But, from the woman's point of view perhaps it is more advantageous since she gains a few extra inches via her heels.



I myself have seen women hiking Mount Halla, traversing the sandy beach, and spelunking in Jeju's caves with high-heeled shoes. But, I hardly thought it warranted a picture. However, my chum claimed it was outrageously amusing and insisted that he take a picture. Well, let's put it in a positive light and say: at least she is a diligent stock lady.

This is a curious sign that intrigued me as it contains so much human interest: A singing toilet, a sure fire weight loss program.


I'm not sure on the exavt translation; I'll have to research it.

And finally a stylish hair salon in Jeju City, I believe th stylist has just said, "No the gel just doesn't work for me I switched to plutonium silicone spray."

The Sunday Adventure Continued; Or, When Soggy Pooh Dries off On Children

Well Outside of the Kim Bap Shop I found a young man without a clue how very filthy he was showing himself off to the English Speakers of the World. What a pity. I told him his shirt was "dirty" "sex" he patiently denied it saying "no" "no."


Well, I did try, and I think the real question is who are the evil forces behind the creation of these clothes...hmmm this is a job for the know-it-all finger pointer Dr. James Dobson. He might say something like: "We need to fix this problem now I demand you all vote like I tell you to or you are all fools. And yes I am always right!"


Later I went towards the world famous [in Jeju] Wind Surfing spot Iho Beach. I saw some strange black garbed fish people. I took a picture of them so I could report them to the Harbor Patrol. I think they were all North Korean Spies. Or they might of been space aliens. They seemed harmless enough so I allowed them a while longer on my island.



This is a cute little punk in SIn Jeju I met on my way down. Why she was interested in getting a picture with me I have no clue. Perhaps, she thought I was a movie star.



Let me be honest ok. The truth is I am not mortal. I am a demigod. It is not by my incredible strength that I have gained rulership here. Everyday I arise from this tomb after Jeju Pagan Worshipers gather and make a bloody sacrifice: two dogs, one pig, and sixty-six Jeju tangerines. After which, they roast the dogs and feed it to the pig, then later in the night I return and eat the pig marinated in the tangerines. I then urge them all to turn their backs on their pagan grandfather gods and worship only Me, the one true god.

No, no it's a joke God- don't strike me dead.




Incidentally, I've asked many Koreans about this and they all claim it to be true. Apparently, the Grandfather scholar and warrior stone gods were fertility penis idols. I know it sounds dirty- but I am not creating this history. So, the ancient Jeju wives use to offer sacrifices and pray to these penis gods for children. It's all very Freudian isn't it?


There was a Light House I climbed up upon after a short swim. Sorry no waterproof disposable camera left so you 'll have to take me at my boast. It wasn't really that far. I saw a schools of silvery fish and a two jelly fish.



These children of Iho beach punks volunteered to take their picture with their Lord and Master The Jeju Prince. Christ bless them all.

Everyday is Like Sunday; Or, When Smaugs Gluts

I had a fine Sunday lunch in Jeju City in the best of all possible Kim Bap restaurants in the best of all possible worlds. It is as if all things were destined to be as this, and if I did see Martin even smiling after eating here I would not be surprised. But, I 'm much wiser and thoughtful than Candide. Umm ok so I thought I'd show some unflattering Korean Piggy time photos:


The Start: (Well ok I did eat about four slices already sorry Pooh himself could have done no better)



Kim Bab.
Famous ground in the dirt Korean Quotes
"Do you know how to use chopsticks?" "Oh you berry good with chopsticks!"

Kim Chee (Notice the tasty Kim Bap remnants on the Greedy tongue) I love rotten cabbage! Remember you scoffing pompous connoisseurs- wine and beer are the waste products of yeast.

The Finish- "Ahh MeGook mocktah very fat Pigaa!" "You eating very good!"

I have a light saber I used it in the Smacaldic Wars and later in the Napoleonic wars. But, as any discerning person would know light sabers only work against laser, crossbow, spear, arrow and similar slow moving projectile fire. I mean any fool who watched the Star Wars movies noticed how they could follow the laser beams with their eyes as they were fired from the storm troopers laser guns.



However, with the era of 2000 fps plus bullets it is impossible for the Jedi (or Dark Sith Sir Edward Pooh de Bear Lord Like Me) to block them with his light saber and so I had to switch to the rifle and fragmentation type weapons with the introduction of high powered rifles. But, I'm hoping I can invent some cool magnetic tractor beam force field like in Dune. Then I'll be able to fight with the proper gentlemen chivalry bladed weapon.



As Pooh would have it the Light Saber best use bread Cutter and instant butter warmer.