The Jeju Prince

No Happy Punk Kids Bother Pooh in the USA...

2006-07-17T13:52:00.000-07:00

I miss doing kung fu impressions with the Tae Kwon Do kids. Ok here is a good example. There was this one Tae Kwon Do School on the Round about rotary in Jeju City not far from the Jeju Foreign Language Center. I stopped my bike and got the hydration and triangle kimbab at Family Mart. Around fifteen white Karate suited kids are loitering around their emblazoned Hawkone Van. Of course they say, "Hello!" "Where are you from?" and "Hi!" And of course I say, "HYYYE!" back. Spotting a black belt twelve-year-old boy I say, "Hey you tough guy Black Belt." He goes, "Yes thankyou." But a bunch of other kids say, "No he is monkey." and a little punk in a yellow belt says, "No he is very fat." The other kids all agree saying, "Very fat." "He very fat." The black belt smiles jovially and says some stuff in Korean and the other kids laugh. So, I deecide it's time to do my own demonstration and command, "Look I know Kung Moge- watch." I proceed to do some static basic blocks- forearm block left, forearm block right, crisscross up criss cross down. And I do my best Sumo voice going, Hoaa! WHooo! Haaa, Hiaaa, Hooe, Heee, Hiaaa!" THe kids all laugh and say, "I am crazy. Oh here picture- you Tae Kwon Do cute girl. So, I get her picture shake a few hands and ride away, knowing Korea and Jeju will be safe in the small powers that I know I've instructed well.

I can't recall where this is from... some tough punk in Jeju City. I tell ya it's a Jungle in Jeju. (NOT!)

THE LAST POST on this Blog

2006-05-31T04:40:00.000-07:00

MY TIME HERE WAS A RULE OF CRUEL FORCE A JUDGE OF ENGLISH WITH NO MERCY !!! MY CHARGES FEARED ME !!!(NOT!)

THEY HATED ME !!!!!!!(NOT!)

THEY KNEW I WAS JUST HERE FOR THE MONEY ! (NOT!)

CLICK THE MOVIE BELOW TO SEE HOW MUCH MY STUDENTS HELD ME IN FEAR WITH ONLY HAT E FOR ME !!! I BROUGHT TERROR AND A SWORD TO THE CLASS NEVER WAS THERE A CLASS DAY I DID NOT BEAT THESE STUDENTS !!! IF YOU LOOK AT THESE STUDENTS YOU WILL KNOW HOW THEY FELT ABOUT THEIR FOUL LAZY AMERICAN TEACHER !!!!(NOT!)

(Ok in case you have no clue the above was a joke and the opposite is true)

It is Nigh over my Campaign of Crusading English Terror. Children and Adults alike have Dreaded the Sword that Comes from my mouth. For I passed judgment upon them. Saying unto them:

no no please try again, it is not

"I like to shit on the floor. It is "I like to sit on the floor."

And I will not I will not comment on the way they said,

"How about parking over there?"

Suffice to say I turned red but never the less corrected them until they said the "p" right.

Anyhow the point is I have a new blog on a different server with a different name. And due to some of the nasty comments I have gotten (and many deleted) here I am not going to put the address here. SO THERE HA HA sour grapes and all that. Umm anyhow, maybe if you email me and I can figure out how I know / knew you from KOREA or elsewheres I'll give out the address if I do not know you I may or may not depending on how you convince me you are a kinda (KOnglishee word) person.

But, in truth I think I only got about two or three bad comments, in fact I doubt most anyone reads this so it is much like I am some great fat L00ser writing to himself thinking he is a very important and popular person. Well I am not I am just really actually just:

THE RULING PRINCE AND NOBLE LORD OF ALL JEJU BY DIVINE RIGHT OF KINGS

YOU MUST BOW DOWN TO THE ALMIGHTY JEJU PRINCE AT ONCE !!!!

YOU WILL GIVE ME ALL YOUR CAPPUCCINO DRINKS AT ONCE OR I WILL DRIVE MY LANCE THROUGH YOUR CHURL HEART !!!!

YOU WILL GIVE ME TEPEE AT ONCE !!!!

I AM THE C000LEST EVER !!! ALL SHALL PAY HOMAGE TO ME OR BE CRUSHED UNDER MY DESTIER'S STEEL HOOVES !!!!

MY SWORD IS DURENDAL AND I HOLD THE LANCE OF CALVARY THAT I HAVE RESCUED FROM THE ARAB WASTES !!!

I AM INVINCIBLE !!!!!!!!!!!

MTB Action Down thw stairs

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My Movie Camera Crew. Thanks boys!

THE LACK OF FEAR AND A LIMIT ON IMMORTAL POWER MAY YET HALT MY DESTRUCTION

SOON I WILL ExTEND MY R00LZZZ FROM JEJU TO AMERICA !!!

WHOA TO THE FOOLS WHO OPPOSE MY ASCENSION TO BECOME THE PHILOSOPHER KING OF AMERICA !!!

I WILL OVERTHROW THE SPAWN OF THE TERRORIST 'FOUNDING FATHERS' - REBELS WHO USURPED THE BRITISH THRONE !!!!

THEN I WILL OVERTHROW THE ENGLISH DOGS OF PARLIAMENT WHO OVERTHREW KING CHARLES BACK WITH EVIL CROMWELL !!!!

I AM THE STRONGEST ON THE FIELD !!!

MERLIN THE SWORD !!! YOU PROMISED ME THE SWORD !!! EXCALIBUR !!! I MUST HAVE THE SWORD TO BE KING !!!!

If you want to know my next blog leave a comment and why ... prove who you are ect....

A Terrible Thing Done... Who Could Cap A Child?

2006-05-31T04:36:00.000-07:00

Monday, May 29, 2006

FOOLS YOU UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE!

I was a Marine of Good Heart as Count Roland or Beowulf I fought only Dragons, Saracens, and Sea Monsters. I did not give in to Despair and the Blood Lust for Death, even as my rifle (#6039065) coaxed me with every caressing recoil. And yet, most all of you are foolish unbloodied civilians! You can not know the pulling draw of The Dark Side of The Force. My Hell Dog Brothers have gone over to the Dark Side. It is no surprise- they were The Empire's Storm Troopers from the beginning. There is Power to be found in Hate and Rage. But, few are willing to pay the price. The price is the sacrifice of love, mercy, and kindness until only a grudging respect and trust is all that can be left for companions- friends no longer. A Heart of Darkness and Contempt for Life where a woman becomes only flesh and a non-Marine a pathetic nasty woman. What Evil Sith Lord can truly have a friend? There are only allies who also destroy those that oppose the Rule of the Empire.

I left my Warrior Brothers for peaceful study in hopes that my tenured example of mercy and strength used to protect the weaker would stay with them. I trusted they would follow the example of the Poor Knights of the Holy Temple on Crusade. I had faith when they returned again to the desert wastes or tropic climes they would remember my Nobility and not descend to grasp the hands' of demons who'd help them take their fingers straight and off the trigger when they should have remained unbent in the sight of innocent blood. But, I fear they have succumbed to hate and revenge. Though it may be true they suffered a causality from a nearby roadside bomb still the slaying of children abed can hardly be called lighting up designated targets. Rage and hate- yes these things unchecked are the death of many a soft target Lindesfarne was- not the first nor the last. But, we can not know who really killed those women and children until the inquiry is over.

And besides I am happy I will be eating real Mexican Food and Pizza anon. Long Live the Empire and the Vikings who serve it! Soon I shall return there to my pleasure- the pleasure Smaug feels when he sights a bunch of ponies in the open. And hey just because one Squad or two went awire does not mean the Company is Bad - Let alone the entire USMC. Stuff like this happens in South America and Africa every single day! Overall we are Goodly Killers - Double Tap! Pop Drop! Body Bag! And all that trash.

But I am still sad the a few of my Devil Dog Marine Brothres seemed to have:

GONE TOO THE DARKKK SIDE

The Destruction Of a Silver Fairy of Merlin Metalworks; Or, How Pooh found that a combination of a big belly and big legs caused a little crack

2006-04-25T06:40:00.000-07:00

Power unquenchable power, as Smaug gluts all he can swallow so did the Monster the Mighty Pooh swallow down all Honey, Cream, Chocolate and Cookies that dared shed a crumb or fleck of sweetness in his chubby presence. And yet even as Pooh's own great Gut betrayed him egress from rabbit's house so did I kill my only love by my greed for speed. These two things should never be mixed upon my Silver Fairy:

But it is too late she is dead and I in my lust for speed in my greed to slay every irritating hill grinding into it standing up and pulling with my hands. No it was not supposed to be possible she was a magic lass a Creature of MERLIN (metalworks)http://www.merlinbike.com/
a Fey One of immortal life and strength wrapped in titanium her heart was to be unbreakable. I even boasted before that she would outlive me. True enough I've snapped steel and metal matrix bikes before... hmm around five or so bicycles I have broken behind the bottom bracket or on the chain stay. But those tramps were just foolish lunks- well ok they were race worthy, but they were not the best of the best. Yes I rode an Extra Light from 1997 to today 2006 I thought I found the love that would never bend under me, the one hard heart that was crafted by wizards of legend and so she was called the Silver Fairy.
I remember standing up and torquing to sprint up a bit yesterday. I can't exactly recall hearing a new crack or creak, as my c-rec pedals constantly creak, but I do distinctly remember the feeling something was wobbly or loose. Puzzled I stopped to check if my hubs were screwy, my bottom bracket blown, or my headset imploded. None of these were the case. So ignoring it I continues to ride and decided one of my tire casings had pulled a mass of kevlar thereat from its weave.
The next day I rode again to school a paltry 25 miles one way. I was getting ready to leave when a teacher pointed at the crack on my downtube and said it was dangerous to ride it. I stared at it incredulously and then it struck me that I had slain my Silver Fairy Princess. I had killed her and not even in a crash. No I had simply broken her in our thrashing the roads with our unrelenting speed and powerful pavement burning. Like a fool who cared not about a critical failure I rode home on her dead carcass pondering how fat I will become free of her hate for all things slow and gentle. I just wonder if The Merlin Masters will replace her for free...? If not I may seek out a carbon caked fat tubed teaser to mess with cars again.

A broken neck and the guilt is mine:

All is lost in this crack that spells the Doom to My Only Magic Fairy:

Can titanium be Destroyed is flesh greater than steel and the doughtier metal of Fighter Jets?

The sad Face of a Killer of a Sylvain Elf. Yes it was my doing I broke her fine neck.

May the Merlin Welders have Mercy and Give me another Magic Creature. But, how long will she live under me? Perhaps my vigor will weaken in my old age? Nine years is a long time for just one frame. How many thousands of miles did she suffer under the bulk of the Great Pooh.

The killer was not my hand. No I blame my legs. Look at that lip of muscle above my knee! It is the evil smile of a killer who exalts in his terrible strength. I blame my legs for the death of this titanium lass. It was their deed not mine.

It's all a terrible pity. I guess I'll just have to MTB now or get fat...

Class to City to Cherry; Or, How Jeju Is Not the Whole Red Fruit of Eden

2006-04-10T03:28:00.000-07:00

Jeju yes Jeju. I went to school on Friday, then I went to Sin Jeju, and ended the next day in The Jeju Cherry Festival. So let us begin the picture flashback on a sleepy bus ride- here this fellow has the idea:

Later at an unnamed Elementary School:

The Dance Crew:

These are some of the small happy marmots left under my charge:

Right so lets go to some strange city pictures:

These jubilant ladies were happy to pose with me. One looks vaguely Vietnamese. Perhaps her great grandmother wed a Vietnam sailor.

This is a charming 20 year old -that is 19 USA age who was glad to be embraced by the Fat Ole Winnie the Pooh of Jeju

What a cute punk:

This Lass had on a strange shirt- but mark me there is little doubt she hadn't a clue of what her shirt forwarded...

Where is Dr. James Dobson to regulate the Korean Clothing Industry?

mmm well I will not say what the back of her jacket said... but again she did not know the sordid truth.

The Know it all "Vote like me if you are good too" Dr. James Dobson Check as to his fashion...

Let us go to the Cherry Blossom Festival. A Winsome Cheerful Cheery Blossom floated into my arms to press my belly:

An enchanted pair:

The local Ancient Phallic god, The Scuba Shell gatherer Lady, and The New Lord Of Jeju:

Mmm and after a long Sumo Competition she admitted defeat and I apologized for the damage to her shirt:

Is this Jeju? No it can not be? Scandalous costumed hip hop girl dancers?!? What of the last stand of Confucianism?

Ahhh this is funny a "Snore Pillow"

Righto so Then A cheery Cherry time I guess it was sweet.

Some Tri Friends a trio they are; And the Lord Prince Jeju Hero

2006-04-04T04:43:00.000-07:00

Ok ahh lets see I met some Tri Athletes... we ate and saw the sites of Jeju together. Ummm this one museum was very strange... If you want all the pictures you will have to leave a email request.

Two friendly tri-lasses.

-A charming Tri-Lass with the Lord of Jeju

The Tri-gang at The Mongol Horse Rink-

Right this museum we stopped at was in good taste mostly but ummm I am only going to show a few of the pictures like this

Be advised this theme is ahhh well a bit ummm where is B+B to explain when I need them...
But umm this is a sight about Jeju Love Land a rather silly but arguable Art Park...

http://www.jejuloveland.com/bbs/zboard.php?id=gallery

Ummm as I said there were a few more pictures- leave an email if you must have them with who you are... It is just that they were out of focus in the night / and or / silly - like this one where she is with the statue.

The students Love Their Good Master; Or, How Pooh thought to Feel Good with Easy Wereds Eveen He Cood Spill-- And the Jeju Bunny Gang

2006-03-30T05:50:00.000-08:00

My students Love me. Or so they say here they are:

This would be called a Jimmy Hendrix experience if I were black and could play like no other...My eye looks all psychedelic and 1960's-

A student being teased by another- and always I as a good sport make sure they play fair in their horseplay:

A Canadian Maple leaf decorates this North American Slang style hat...

Like I said this movie is proof my students love me:

Right later after school I happen to run into the Bunny Gang of Jeju they near attacked me with their star struck fervor, but I managed to settle them for a picture:

The Bunny Gang caught on Film:

Above is the Bunny gang caught on film ^^^^^
^
Indeed Jeju is a dangerous place for a single man to walk the streets alone. But I am an Immortal Demigod, The Lord Prince of this Isle and so it is little wonder I saunter these avenues sans even a hint of fear.

____________________________________________________________________

I decided to add on a few pictures from a bit after this...

The G Daddy Gang Yo!

Yet Another Bunny Gang - A cuter bunch of Sweet kids this side of Watership Down.

'''''edit...

Well this is the Cleaning Crew... I'd bring them to America to continue cleaning where I worked, but then they'd realize no American student has cleaned his school unpaid since the 1950's.

How Many Flower Girls Can You Hug? Or Junmung, Yellow Botany, and Big Yellow Pooh.

2006-03-26T04:26:00.000-08:00

So it was that the Big Fat Yellow Pooh set off to Jungmun or is it Jungmung... sounds like June Moon when they say it. I met a whole lot of flower girls we took each other's pictures.

A Korean Flag Kite Chain.

And look at this I found three cute little pixies frolicking in the flowers!

What's this I found a fey one hiding must have come from a fairy mound...

The sign behind is to honor me. You can't see it in the picture, but it reads in full,
"The Lord of our Island: The Noble Lord rules us in the year of our Lord 2006 Jeju."

Here is a fine couple- I must find a shirt like that before I depart here...

Here we have a charming lass who came like a cat through the Yellow Rape Flower Grass; a Cat in Green Boots...

And here then are some kindly ESL masters with the English ruler of Jeju.

The wonderful world of unlitigious Jeju! Show me a fair anywhere in the US where kids can have a mildly dangerous bit of fun like this:

Here are two of my Dukes of Jeju. I there Mighty Prince will appoint them over this Island when I sally forth to conquer. But, the civilians of Jeju need not fret as I shall charge them with the Powers of Rulership on my leave taking.

I was kicked out of this playground after I started crying when kids poked me:

Doing the Jimmy Doors pose except I'm too fat...

A strange magic circle or ahhh a Korean Stonehenge - Jungmung - perhaps I should contact some exorcist to expunge this circle mmm well perhaps it's harmless.

Right so here is the Jungmung shore's unique volcanic rocks:

down the rock slope:

Blue and Black "Whisper on a Stream doesn't mean a thing..."

Gray, Green, and Blue:

This is a large group of cheerful marmots and a Great Ole Master of Stoats on the deck of the look out area by the Convention Center.

Nice view; maybe I could put a tower here:

It's a long way down to the place where we started from...

Hole with out a Great Yellow Bear:

Meanwhile back in The Jungmun Convention Center Some wacky foreigners were playing Frisbee. Where's a police officer where you need one?

Cool and the Gang:

A group of charming university girls that I thought would be sweet to embrace the Chubbiest Lord this Isle.

Ice cream and sea shells- what a tasty combo. But, truth be told, I'd still sample the second taste of it, if she forced it on me.

It's true Piglet's father was slain! I will revenge him. This cruelty will not be left unpunished. Unfortunately the price was 20,000 won for one plate of pork, so I'll have to allow his death to be fed on by the deep bellies and pockets of Koreans.

So ahhh that was the Rape Flower Festival of Jungmung- flowers are for girls and tea is waht I say, but then I like both too.

If I were an Older Brother with These; Or, How Pooh Made Lots Of Chocolate Money with English When He'd Just as Well take A Bullet For Them

2006-03-24T06:44:00.000-08:00

Mmmm so I teach every Friday... Well I would not call it teaching, More like me being privileged to spend some time with a lot of bright eyed unhurt children whose hearts I can only pray stay as whole as they now are. Ummm anyhow, I know I don't have any of the happy guys in here but at the time I took out the camera nearly all of them were playing outside while these girls were in the classroom playing the piano, writing, talking, and drawing, among other things... go figure.

Umm this is three small lasses do not mistake them for fairies...

The Large Stoat and his students Christ bless 'em all...

Yes I know- I look like a clown in camouflage and a riggers belt. I need to get a grey shirt. I'd like to match sorry- "Your fashion bad."

So here is a short movie of the happy kids the link might expire though (OPPPS)

Here is an incidental picture from later that day when I chatted with a gang of friendly middle school girls who said they wanted to be "here" and also spoke about their fabulous "Cyworld" pages...

I wonder if I am on Cyworld? I guess I am somewhere...

What A Charming Lot of Teachers they are: Jeju Educators

2006-03-13T06:40:00.000-08:00

Mmmmm here we have a Master of Maps:

And this then is a Master of this Country's Korean Language:

Righto well here we have some fine happy teachers... let's get a look at them:

And hold your peace Hey it is the Lord of Jeju with a fine teacher too... God doth bless him no doubt....

Right well all is well in Jeju though could stand a bit of warming for my bicycle frolics ahh well time or two will bring the heat I pray...

My Palawan Power... See me Rule

2006-03-04T03:25:00.000-08:00

I did a Palawan Powerpoint for class. Sorry no Movies are hooked onto the download... anyway if you want you can see it ummm Palawan was Sweeeeeeeeeettttt...

So anyhow if you want to see the power point down load it but it is Wayyyyy huge so I hope you have a primo computer...

So maybe just two silly pictures here ElNido and a Water Steak.

mmm right I wrote down this web page for these girls so they could see themselves...

Here is Pooh surrounded by too many happy Tiggers ...

Rightoo well here we Have some Port Barton cute kids on the beach:

More Port Barton

I rented an MTB and saw the coutry folk of El Nido I stopped here for a soda and chat with the kidly locals

This is El nido:

I have no clue what happened to these fellow tour boat people...

I would take a bullet for this kid anytime I use to go to this place for lunch again and again just to see the kid - You can not tell in this movie but she is wayyy silly and fun to talk too.

Snake Island El Nido I have no clue what happened to those old fellows...?

This is in the town of El Nido at the place I stayed at - and yes it was a free drink.

More Plawan Punks I forgot the town name....

Right so that was the update...

A Cycle Circle Round And Round with The Mounted Lord of the Isle of Jeju

2006-01-28T01:14:00.000-08:00

So I decided to take my camera on this loop from the high ground to the sea and up again. I did NOT take any pictures of me drafting the trucks and buses so insanely but that would be unsafe as you need both hands on the brakes when you draft- unless of course you're insane - actually it is a swerve brake reaction when the slipstreamed vehicle stops suddenly. Err one of these days I am going to tape my camera on top of my helmet and make a quacky driving movie... Anyhow let us begin with the pictures:

Hmmm so here is me at a round about in Sin-Jeju very funny and dangerous you can play bully boy chicken if you are driving will he yield for you- I play nice in these of course - but Korean drivers enjoy these immensely as they try to establish their first place position in the rotary hierarchy.

Here is me blocking the Main street - All must Yield- FACE ME THE NEW LORD OF MONKEYS !!! I DON'T FEAR DEATH - DO YOU?

Once again I have returned to the beach plaza - these boys may be far cuter than me - but I'm still faster and stronger.

The long view mm I believe I shall go embrace those rollerbladers - the Prince of Jeju loves all his subjects.

A Friendly Hug for a cool rollerblading fellow

And of course I must needs hug these two cute rollerblading ladies

And here we have the road along the sea towards Iho beach far in the distance you can see the Ramada hotel...

I am the vacation boyo of Winter...

maybe I should of swum in this ocean mmm if only I had a dry suit...

I may not match here mmm lucky I'm not a fashion freak...

What powers the Fat Lord of Jeju Pooh de Bear Prince of this Isle? Why Chocolate, grape drinks, and fruit candy no less-

Outside the store I met upon some of my small ones who populate my Island- cute kids I thought I'd get a picture and give them a bit of my chocolate too...

I am the Great Chocolate Smaug Lord of Jeju - and yet I am kind to the harmless little ones who dwell on my isle...

Some more happy kids...

Here then we have my beach front home - quite nice don't you think?

the tiered farm lands by the ocean

This then is what my great fat head looks like when I am riding my bike - perhaps what most Koreans see as I pass them in fury and power.

Here is another of my homes to be mmm maybe I should move in soon then I can swim every day- there is always the little problem of property ownership though...

Here is the shore coast road area close by Hagi mmm I think I will dig here or make it a hot tub all I need is a hot water pipe... or a hot spring...

Later though I realized my hot tub had a rock in it so I got mad... Mmm I will have to have it cleaned before I pipe hot water into it

And this is the view from my sand pit / future hot tub it'd be perfect those fishermen could roast fish for me while I sat in my hot tub...

On the way back up in the loop I came again to the highland farmers pink and green colors- how quaint maybe I will spare them the Noble Lord's crop levy this year.

The Lord and Prince of Jeju teaches The Queens English; Or, Ser Edward de Bear and a gentle English Crusade.

2006-01-17T00:19:00.000-08:00

Well it seems my vacation between teaching the old students is spent with some students only around nine years into my unsullied Kingdom from their mothers' wombs. So it is that I train them up in the Lingua of the Crusaders err no that would be French mostly... ahhh how the French have fallen from their heights of chargers when they once were the campaigners for the protection of pilgrims and not making campaigns against the old values of the pious gentlemen. Ahhh oh yeah I was talking about young kids yeah yeah well the truth is these kids like me a lot, and I'm not sure why as they can barely ever understand anything I say to them. But, then I can't catch much of what they are speaking ether. Regardless, I'd take any size round full metal jacket or hollow point, in their place no problem. But, happily I'm not teaching in the Sudan, or Iraq so I'll never have the chance to prove my boast of Chivalry. As the Knight Errant, or Noble Prince for that matter, must always protect the weak and mild: be they little ones, the aged, or the weaker sex. You know this blog could disqualify me from any liberal University I apply for if read carefully by a Liberal Feminist, they have no sense of humor with pompous Medieval Don Quixote blaterings. However, I'm not worried as they will never read it.

Ok so ahhhh here is me looking confused about when the picture will snap, On the other hand the happy guys seem well posed for the flash so it be a pity not to show their charm:

And this would be me crowded by some happy girls who don't understand that I'm not a kind teacher; but in reality an incredibly Overgrown Stoat who somehow learned to orate and write rudimentary English words:

Ok well I'll have to replace these with a more/better ones later... ____________________________________________________________________

Yes here we go an update of the 8 and 9 year-old cute kids let start with some happy guys:

And now some sweet girls:

Same sweet kids another picture:

The problem with these young fellows is they had more interest in the computers than the camera...

Sometimes it is tough to get a picture of a cute little kid... Hey no hiding!

Now she's playing with her dress up girl sticker book - come on the cute kid next to you is being good...

Ah ha finally a smiling picture of this spunky little girl and friends

Three cute kids were very difficult to teach- NOT. This was about the easiest two classes a teacher ever worked. For sheer delight I would compare it to the time I got paid at an elementary school to read stories to kind, eager, and attentive, little Mexican immigrant kids. In both cases it was about as rewarding as you can get... well then again I have never gotten paid to argue the merits of the epic hero in a room full of English PHd learners. That might be as fulfilling, and deeper, but I doubt they'd all be as cute and happy to be with me.

The Grand kid pile and the ole Stoat. Look carefully at this picture and you will see a small silly boy pulling a girls cute little piggy tail. I have to reprimand him on that. No matter how cute the girls piggytails are you must not pull them.

As I said this is a silly little fellow giving her cute pigtail a squeeze- I’ll have to lecture him on that.

Hmmm well sorry I couldn't help it ether. I wonder if I'd get fired for that in America. Ahhh well it is Korea and I was only complimenting her on it...

Ok well that's it for the update, now I'll have to do some more bike pictures later I guess...

Happy Teen Girls and A Large Overgrown Stoat; Or, How Pooh was Confused in January when he kept seeing Multiple Piglets.

2006-01-09T01:57:00.000-08:00

Yes well What can I say mmm There is A Girls' School in Jeju I Find Myself to be The English Prince of... I suppose it is inevitable as Noble Blood seems to usurp all others and Propel the Largest and Greatest of Stoats to the Head of the Hall. However I did not steal the Command of Toad Hall. Rather I am by rights the lord of this Class, but as you can see I am the elder and this is Korea so by rights I Rule this Classroom but it is an Enlightened Dictatorship. Ok so let us show a few of my kind, sweet, and much too happy students. Perhaps if they grow old and see the wastes of the Persian Gulf they shant not smile so broadly. But, there are few in this world who can claim to have served America for Oil and Oatmeal Cookie MRE bars and lived unjaded; or at least undusted from the dust that returned mayhap too soon. Righto enough bragging about the Marines... On to the happy girl pictures-

This is as many as I could muster for the camera- more students are off camera, as you can see some are a bit shy.

What can I say here? Two smiling teenage girls photographed with an Overgrown Stoat with Reasoning and Oratory Powers.

Yes it is a difficult job but someone has to teach these girls English.

Future Korean Successful adults with the Lord of Orangutan (in the Past is true I was the Jungle Lord of Singapore ask the Commandos who met me- but that has nothing at all to do with this picture).

And let us end on a happy smiling note... I know what you must think... I am too casual but these are extra vacation classes so my dress matches the students. Do they look like they have uniforms on? Well they are all uniformly cute and good hearted but I am referring to dress.

Hmmm next I'll have to do a Winter MTB one for some crazy pictures or maybe I should hike Halla again...

My Love has a Heart Harder than the Coldest Wrought Steel For she is of Titans

2006-01-02T00:53:00.000-08:00

A lot of my students ask if I have a girlfriend. And although I have become acquainted with a few kind Korean Ladies who were good enough to buy me chocolate coffee drinks and broiled strips of pork we'd eat in leaf wraps; there is but One Lass I have here who I know like no other, a Silver Fairy I've shed blood on, a Soulless Entity I have accidentally crashed upon the pavement, scraping even her impossibly smooth but unyielding skin. For it is so that even the hardest glass is cut with stone. Righto here is a picture of my Long Living Love, and barring a Nuclear war there is none alive who can destroy a Merlin Made Extralight...

Though we may crash together in a tangle of pain and glory there will only be one whose main frame can never be broken, nor will that one ever see fear upon the impending doom of a speed lust that must dam the stricken fool to an earthy reckoning. Yet, the Draft and Slipstream are too sweet. Still, I have tried to take it slow when going down Mount Halla’s curving descents.

A Little Bit Of Heart and Seoul... Down Out In London New Orleans and Paris Too I Seouled Rigger in My Mind Just to Coast on Through Mmm mmm

2006-01-01T02:52:00.000-08:00

And it came to pass that the Lord of Jeju deigned to sojourn to Seoul wherein he would consume many Western Foods and Wax Fatter in his Carnal Sloth. For it was ordained that the Great Pooh should Hug many in this Soul Town... parents directed him to hug their children, and Jovial drunk fellows were grateful to take pictures of him with their cell phones as well as use his camera on themselves. And lest we forget the cute punks, and bonny lass ladies they too were eager to be hugged and trapped in digital stillness, since it is known that Korean Ladies can sense Noble Blood better than any other them mostly all being princesses. (Ask a Korean Lady/Girl if she id a Princess and they nearly always say, "Yes I am Princess.")

Ok so let us begin the pictures...

UB40 I like that band- Is this a lost member?

Ahhh so kind a twenty-some -odd-year-old Ice Cream Girl is there a Greater Dream of a Fat Fellow than a cheerful Girl who gives him Ice Cream. I think not. Pooh would ever be her friend.

Here we have a fellow that I am forever thankful for the greatest sort of man one can never find in bereft Jeju... Yes that's right a Burger King Fast Food Clerk- God Bless him:

Hmmm yes let's continue on the Happy Belly Theme... Who could Please me More than a kind Donut Clerk who smiling sold me Donuts and then gave me a friendly hug. May she live long and see a Heaven even Greater than a Chocolate Honey Coated One where the stomach never weeps...

And let us not forget the sweet Lass Of the McDonald's Of Korean Convenience Stores: A Kindly Family Mart Clerk:

Here then is a fellow who works for the Good Of The Car Drivers a Brave Fellow with an Orange Magic Sword:

And let us remember a charming College Lady who was selling Cool Guy Sunglasses:

And there is no doubt I think this 21 year old KOEX clerk belongs in Lothlorean with the rest of the Fey gentle Folk:

And for the Climax we have a Waitress I confused with Cindy Crawford ... they do some advanced biomedical work in Korea maybe this is Clone errr no no she just a Biggeddy Bigggedy Bomb Smokin Lady and umm she seemed to smart too she was very fluent speaking Korean...

Mmm well on the Street I met many a charming fellow here we have a Korean "Handsome Guy."

Wow fashion Princesses Girls ... future rock stars?

This Guy Here has the High Care Hair, but I like it-

Mmmm what have we here but two Fine young University Lasses given a Friendly Embrace by the Visiting Lord of Jeju:

Ha ha I found Elves in the KOEX strange I thought they had all left the world of men long ago to go across the Sea...

Hmmm who is da C000lest? That is the Question...

KOEX Guy?

Or other Koex Guy?

Yet another triple girl hug, these poor University Girls looked as Cold as they were Cute so I was glad to help out a bit with a warm hug, sadly they had no chocolate or honey...

I thought I would get a few shots of the more individualistic Korean Style Pierced ones Here is a Man...

And here we have a friendly Non-Conformist Lass

Hmmm And what would the day be without some parents asking me to hug their children for a photo... I was glad to oblige and of course had them take one with my picture too... I wonder if the parents will put it online line too... Maybe they will ttile it: "Also during our Christmas Vacation in Seoul we met a Large but Very Kind and Friendly Fat Bear, the kids thought he was nice though."

And behind us I also thought this Axe head building was head splitting...

And then of course I thought I'd get some pictures with some Subway fancies... Here we have a fine fellow without his hair colored yellow...

and I do regret this sooo much this young lass was sooooo beautiful but you will never know as she laughed and giggled and covered her angel face... ahh well perhaps you canst read her beauty between the lines of her fingers- a pity.

And here we have some little cute kids I think they are saying, "He is a bit like a rather fat ole Bear but fun taking pictures with Large Portly Stoats!"

The Mighty Han river I rolled over while a gentle Lass relaxed reading in some Foreign eerrr her native language, that seems to be a problem encountered here all too often many of the books are written in the native language which I can only read very slowly, they need to Use the Language of the Jeju Conqueror - Ingles eerrr no not Hernando Cortez Espanola mmm I mean umm English. I suppose it all comes from them being in Asia and all...

And to return to the street anon- herein we have Christmas with the fuzzy Ladies- nice coat.

More Guys with Good hair... Pardon my Unkempt Shag but it was never known for a Poor Knight to use Hair Gel- Sweat from the Helmet would blind the eyes while riding down foe...

And let us not forget the MC Ladies who dance and promote non-stop, until a visiting Noble Man gives them a break...

I think this picture says a lot about Korean Girls; umm happy but deeply thoughtful as well I believe she is pondering the political repercussions of my visit... perhaps she knew I will subvert Seoul under my English Rule as I previously Crushed Jeju into Submission... "You will speak English!" "You Must Respect My Athorrratahhh!"

I gotta show this the little punk with her mitten is sooo cute... funny punks they are.

SOME PEOLPLE WORK FOR A LIVING JESU BLESS 'EM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Others go about hugging pretty police officer ladies for no apparent reason...

But life is not all hard here we have some happy Korean Men and some Equally Good Natured Western English Master Invaders-

But English Masters must rest their great and powerful heads which pillow their incredible brains in a genteelly rocking fluid-

But before this they must test sometimes to see if it is true these great brains can somehow be lulled...

My my what a very beautiful lady- Happy New Year!

How Pooh Sir Edward De Bear Pretended to be a School Master and Had his Paw Hurtfully Bent by Small Clever Hapkido Friends

2005-11-11T14:56:00.000-08:00

Well I must say I oft worry about my small subjects here. I find myself thinking, "This child is so small and fragile how is it that my matchless arm can protect this little one when they leave the presence of their Prince." For verily I would were it in my power to take any bullet for them in my own great fat black heart. Though realistically this is wont to happen as Korea is a handgun controlled country. But of course as the Lord of this Isle and the resident Inspector Jacque Clouseau, I am able to carry any sort of blunderbuss, saber, or lance. Surely only a fool would deny Don Quixote, another protector of all that is good, or I, his arms.

At any rate all heroism aside, I am pleased that at least a few of my small beloved friends can defend themselves against any Hefalump or Wuzzle. For example herein is a picture of a little girl whose sweetness is almost as great as her artful Hapkido skills:

Happy girls!

And let us not forget my skinny but equally kind little buddy boy fellows. Here we have a young Hapkido boyo who will do well to protect himself apart from the Lord of Jeju or the Mighty Pooh:

Then of course I suppose we should have an assemble of some carefree girls. They enjoy there play of a leap frog variant that seems a bit stressful on the neck and back. But as young teens I've no doubt they will bounce back from any stress injury they incur:

The collapse of the silly girl pile:

Some very kind ladies, Or if Speaking with 100 Acre Wood Metaphor: Where the Wuzzle Wasn't:

Let us continue with the joyful theme of smiling punks- and show some of the advantages of teaching:

Yet another collection of marmots and here then is the Head Stoat with them:

Mmmm these could only be described as children:

This then is what it looks like to be with a bunch of cute kids with a Large Overgrown Stoat of Remarkable Intelligence and Oratory Skills

Not sure what to label this picture- but I like the English of it:

Errr ok well I do have a ton of other pictures but time is mmmm a factor.

Seoul Adventure part one...

2005-10-16T05:46:00.000-07:00

Well not much of a Dialogue here. I'll be brief. I left Jeju to Seoul for the KOTESOL Conference. Let's cut to the chase here. The campaign of the Great White Huggy Monster continues... I Am Pooh You will give me Honey, Chocolate, and a big hug! Errr well no, actually not, but everybody could use a friendly hug!

Let us start with a Lady so fair she'd usurp the best the Sun King's Palace ever saw.

The fashion of the Young Male Korean Urbanite a combination of the Elvis glasses and a Hip Hop Head scarf. I do admire it, but I doubt I could ever pull the fashion off myself.

And what could be cuter than a little fashion Girl on the Subway- In this case I did NOT get a hug picture. After all she was just a small kid no matter how friendly her mother was to me. However, if I was a nine year old boy, I would most definitely have tried messing with the pink things holding her hair.

Mmm what have we here? - a tall twenty-four-year old lass whose friends were glad to take our picture... the KOEX holds much beauty. And, by my great fat belly I embrace it with an equally kindly returned friendly hugging affection.

The dream of the Beef Eating Monster... What a fatter dream than to rule at Burger King? Why are there no Burger Kings on Jeju! What a tragedy, and how I am deprived the greatness of American Civilization.

No need to fear for your safety on the Seoul Subway System when these motivated Train Policemen and My Own Self are present.

And let us end with a lucky picture with some Korean Five Star famous fellows and my own much more silly but rather unprimped self.

No worries- I'll have to update later with some more of my Seoul Adventures.

The Honest Labor of Innocents; Or, How Pooh later regretted any Mishaps he Erred In the Water Closet

2005-10-07T04:36:00.000-07:00

On Friday I happened to arrive to a different setting...

It was a scenes of diigence and happiness and if there was godliness for cleanliness well maybe so as there was many a small angel retouching the earth. Ahhh anyhow it is an idyllic time which makes me reflect on the old West when I was but a boy, growing up in a one room school house and filling the furnace with coal to keep all of us students warm. Ahhh no actually I am much older than that I used to burn peat with the High Lander. Errr no seriously it is amusing how these children clean their schools. But it would never work in the States we are just too far gone. Mmmm so I stopped in and did a few lessons on a Friday. And if I happened to get a friendly hug in here or there well hey long ago when I did a stint in an American Kindergarten I may have even hugged some happy kids too. To be honest I do believe American kindergarten kids are more hug aggressive than there Korean Counterparts... mmm anyhow they're all innocents who've never been to a Bali Nightclub...

Why must the terrorist continue to wreck my disco surf land...

Anyhow at least these kids seem unaffected by the terror done to Bali... Come to think of it I wonder if they even know about Bali at all...

Well as I said they are clever little cleaners ... Would you hire these kids to clean your bathroom?

Hmm this is a picture of the joy of bathroom scrubbing. An honest days work from some honestly blissful children- if only we could all go back and take such pleasure in simple friendly endeavors...

The Ruler of the Roads Of Jeju; Or, How Pooh Was Pointed at by Small Children Stuck to Their Windows

2005-10-04T04:14:00.000-07:00

I am still rather quacky sadly but this is the measure of mine own and according to the world I am well as I maintain a teaching job. Practical usefulness in a Public position justifies one as a viable entity, if not perhaps selfactualization as Maslow. Or so would claim a vapid modern man of the post rational. Ahhh I am ok I suppose. I have been biking a lot sad to say and I regret Jesu forgive mine black 'eart but even nigh a few days past I drove the fool, or myself that is.
You see I was riding my bike back from school (a paltry 50 mile round trip ride) and despite the societal laws and rules of good sense I rode on into the night in the dark sans a light. The thing is ahh I got side tracked by ten errr fifteen miles as I errantly decided to take a scenic route. And Knight Errants kind canna ner be faulted for their unannounced Crusades or Adventures. So I was accosted by a Korean couple who spoke whilst driving along side me, "Berrry Dangerous" motioning me to get on the bike path(the bike path is filled with glass, rocks, and sand). I made a sort of Cartmanish sound sort of a whine,
"Ahhh Ahhh Heyyyy ahhhhh."
and moved close by their car while touching it with my left hand- they freaked out and quickly sped away.
The moral of the story is that I am an aggressive goon dog driver, and I watched too many South Park shows. I regret my actions. I do- Really no joke.

It is still a bit flattering- well honestly I suppose my existence on inside their sphere is as if it was pieced by a wayward one- perhaps one of the sons of God... I never did figure out that reference to sons of God in the pre flood days... Was one of those Achilleus, Capaneus, Gilgamesh, and Hercules were these myths based on true heroes who were not quite mortal. I never did get that one. Genesis 6:2-4... It's parts of the Logos like that that most preachers tend to gloss over... I would like to hear a Big ole Baptist Bellower do a whole lecture on his pulpit on that... If I knew a Korean was doing one I'd go and hear him too. I'd have to drag a translator K-Friend with me.

Err ahh anyhow I went off on a tangent I was talking about things of import to me- myself of course. Right so it is funny when I ride so fast sometimes- If I get a tailwind and a sweet extended downhill, I tend to accelerate to the speed of the traffic sometimes faster. Jeju has some mega fatty downhills and when I start spinning on one of these long stretches it's common for me to hit in on 80-90 kilometers- in the 40-50ish mph cruising speed. It is times like these when small children in cars wave to me as their parents speed up so they can drive along beside me spinning like a monster in my 53 x 11. The little ones like to wave with huge smiles as if they have finally met a movie star or Arthur returned from Avalon. Given the speed and the areo tuck I have to maintain to continue such it tis difficult to acknowledge these small admirers- I usually do a nod and a grin- after all they are my serfs and it is my sworn duty and burden to protect and educate them. I AM The Jeju Prince Sir Edward Bear Come from The 100 Acre Wood. And yes I do like Rudyard Kipping- but I don't take all his writs or poem- as dogma. Still, there is something that can be said for the Brits stopping the India peoples from burning their widows alive. As well as Cortez insisting the Mexican Indian Pagan priests stop eating people and having boy consorts. (Yes I did say Pagan. This is not a PC Zone. I like the Knights Templar too.)
"The Conquest of New Spain"... A sad book on well ah a Knight Errants conquest for ahhhh gold- No he was there for his King. And to make them part of the Heavenly and Spanish Kingdom...

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0140441239/103-4787951-9024663?v=glance

Anyhow, Ahh right so the point I am making is I go fast too fast maybe. But Jesu bless and save mine great heart - it'd be a shame to let mine immeasurable power go unused. And besides when we speak of Jeju City travel I am always faster than the cars on my bicycle. As to the country if I draft the slipstream of a tour bus or dump truck: may the Maker's mercy's mention misalign mine most likely mutilations of the most pitiable pavement forced to choke down mine spilt blood. But, I've been trying to cut down a bit on such madness as all would argue such drafting positions are the willful abuse of the driver and the drafter's good sense.
Just say "No" to a daft draft. Or you too may suffer the sudden splashdown.

The Hip Hop Girl, The Princess, and the Cute Toddler; Or, Occasioning Pooh getting More Freely Given Food and Hugs

2005-09-11T04:24:00.000-07:00

Yet another Hip Hip Girl so cute I wish we could have played basketball together but we had no ball and she had to shop...

Ahhh here is a lass who fed me donuts there is little that can make a great glut more happy.

And of course it should be concluded with a small innocent who offered the Lord and Prince of Jeju a small morsel. Such kindness does warm mine great fat noble heart and I can only pray that Providence keeps her safe from all harm the Great Forest Master Ranger Stoat can not.

Hmmm well anyhow it was yet another day burnt.

2005-09-10T16:39:00.000-07:00

Right so ahh let me do a random photo opt of Jeju with little semblance of continuity or logic kind of like a Amphib assault when I was a Viking Crusader. Ok good we got the obligatory bragging of past glories shot off so lets talk Jeju yeah ok let's start with "Cutah Boys" Handsome fellows who were kind enough to share their fashion with my camera and perhaps unwittingly with the world- God bless 'em all.

This fellow had a shirt on that was a bit ahhh well graphic in the lingua. However, one must remember that in Korea the "F" word is not really a swear but just a sort of silly English words foriegners joke around with.

These two fashion greats I found at city hall- ahh if only I too were a young buck again.

Now then this guy has the complete fashion going sort of a gothic punk style ummmm how would you describe it? Anyhow he is a unique fellow and I wish him well in his future. I would trust he does well in the Korean military.

Here then is an out of focus shot with a neoelvis fashion glory. He seemed a friendly sort and I may feel famous too should he become a rock star or the next president of Korea.

Lets move on then to the ladies- now that I proved by the above photos that I do not merely take pictures with ladies. First, I'd like to start with a friendly lady with a shirt that begs a question a gentlemen dare never ask of a lass. However, I will again stress that Koreans simply do not understand the implications of the scripts upon their shirts.

Now then this is a bit of a peculiar shirt as well.

Here we have a friendly lady by the ubiquitous Family Mart.

Family Mart the place to hug University Clerks? Ahh well as anyone in Spain will tell you - a friendly hug is good for the health. Therefore I am just spreading the well being.

Yet another kind clerk at the Family Mart- Pooh must need have chocolate whilst walking about Jeju City, and it is a given that he will embrace those who supply him with his love.

And of course outside the Family Mart a bear with a kind heart will always take time to greet the local innocents. Can you see the reflection of the ever present Walmart-esque Family Mart Logo in the glass?

And now two icons -

a climbing tower in Jeju City

And some happy young punks swimming not quite clothed in a bubbling creek-

Err anyhow so that was the collection. Sorry for the incoherence. But, it all a blur sometimes of images and misunderstood utterances.

A Crony? ahhh ok ummm No thankyou; Or, How Pooh was Frightened

2005-08-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

Pooh was waiting for a bus. Pooh likes buses because he can sleep and eat on them. But Pooh became frightened when he saw a strange thing. It was some sort of ahhhh bar errr something the name was just too sad. Ummm well ahh some argue McDonald's workers are all Cronies too so umm maybe it is a sign of the modern wasteland...? Mmm the wasteland comes to Jeju? Anyhow at least there are no depressing blocky boring and pathetic strip malls here like in America.

Perhaps one day he will peek in- but only if he has Christopher Robin and Piglet with him, as well as Owl to lecture on the underlying roots of this place. Errr ahh maybe it is just a nice bar- I have no real definitive proff ether way... In fact the building looks deserted. Maybe it is closed down.

City Hall Jeju City... Or watch The Fat Fellow With the Hair Colored Brown Hug

2005-08-28T10:09:00.000-07:00

A fine Lady Hair Worker...

Hip Hop College Lass

Beauty And The Stoat

Adventure Man And Lass

Hip Hop Girl and Friend With The Mighty Pooh

Some Fine Jeju Ladies - One Thinks New York is swell too... I'd beg to differ but I am not a homeless there

Anyhow, it was a fine Midsummer Night's Dream with the Fey.

A fancy New Movie Restroom To Beat You In thee Ass If You Are Pissing Off; Or, How Pooh Marvels at the Korean Civil Engineering

2005-08-24T07:45:00.000-07:00

Pooh likes Movies But he drinks to much Milk and Chocolate Coffee Drinks. So Pooh Must seek out the finely crafted and newly built Cinema Lavatory. But he encounters a strange thing that could of beat his poor yellow backside had he accidentally been pummeled by an egressing stall exiter. Happily he was able to use his small brain and avoid any smashing Hefalumps who might be hiding in the stall. So he was safe. Let us observe this terrible but very silly work of Restroom Civil Engineering Design:

Looks safe I might just walk over. I have space for my great belly:

Opppps the door might open all of a sudden but surely it would not ahhhhh:

Well Mmm I guess it is just one of those things. Who needs civil engineering anyhow and for that matter what good are handrails in stairways ether?

The Beach Boy Huggy Bear Pooh Goes On the Assault; Or, How many Koreans can you hug in One Day?

2005-08-16T07:27:00.000-07:00

The rule of Terror errr I mean Terrible Fat Guy Hugs fun continues. The Huggy Campaign a crusade I started as Ruler of Jeju- Yes I r00lz Jeju. Sooo ahhh yeah I was like at the Jungmun Beach and therein I swam axiomatic of course, as I am a Marine Hero of Yore. But, as per the requirements I thought to spread the Great Fat Pooh Belly about and smosh Koreans with my great matchless gut. I traveled with some other kindly fellows who unlike me refrained from hugging Koreans indiscriminately. Ok so let us get on with the list-

This is on the way to Jungmun beach in ahhh Jungmun I hypothesize being the Great Brain I am. The Palm trees give a dreamy Palm Beach Florida sublimity.

Here are some happy ESL masters at the beach. Please note they are NOT hug monsters like me… I AM POOH!!! There is only one Pooh I sing alittle hum about myself Poohh hmmmm... ahh hmmmm hummmm...

Ok but enough of the prequel ahh lets strike a pose Hip Hop style yo and begin with the Hip Hop Boy chummy hug:

Right ok lets continue with some happy- and perhaps one seems bored- twenty-one year old University lasses. So Modest bathing with their clothes on aren’t Jeju girls just sweet?

What a nice lass she is- still her shirt is something to muse on. A balloon that lies ahhh a false balloon- ahhh not sure. Anyhow, she was a sweet university girl.

Ok now I have in mine arm not a sword or shield but dare I say a maid so a fitted for the balmy weather with her bonny self in my great fat arms:

Now then we have here and example of a well tanned and supple Seoul girl; what cute braids she has:

Another Beach lass:

I was going to hug this guy but he would not hug – I thought it would of bee a great picture- still it is a nice contrast well tanned brown flat belly and huge fat white but who is the stronger in the water and on the field – Yes that would be me Lord of Jeju.

It is even more funny because I have on my dry shorts over my wet spedo so it looks like I peed in my pants – hmmm that is quite silly. Maybe he thought I pissed my pants… too ridiculous to ponder. It looks even more inane as I am doing the Yo Wut Up Vanilla Ice Hand.

Holy Cow Batman Can You Surf in Jeju? Hmmm they need longboards I think…

Then herein we find some modest mainland vacation ladies. But do tell this foreign power; if you did want to conceal yourself why then art thou so bereft in the bikini thusly?

Then we must embrace the cute fellows who in their innocence do not realize how silly they appear as a child with a floaty on land. But, that is part the essence of cute children.

Right- some more Jeju girls suitably dressed for beach conservation:

Many Many Many a lady and gentlemen has asked me why I rarely attempt the picture with the adult male. Truth is I had more than one fellow take a picture just so- and in that posture I am discouraged and NOT at ALL interested:

This is a Waterfall it is like having water that falls down err something:

This is like a bridge thing or something people like to look at or something.

Ahhh yeah so we went to the Den of Evil yes Hooters. Ok Ok let me be clear I DO NOT go to Hooters in the USA. My cohorts were wanting to go though. However, I was intrigued from an anthropomorphic curiosity on just what Koreans would make a Hooters into.

Umm I can’t comment on this ahhh maybe Vanilla Ice was in da house yo.

However, it is not yet open so I still stand unenlightened on just what these Koreans will make of this Redneck Restaurant.

Then there was a café outside Hooters and being there I thought I might as well try some pastry. And what do you know, I found a lady or two there who insisted on hugging me.

And look her fine first world friend gave Adventureman a hug too.

Outside some more University girls succumbed to my great Pooh like belly look at this second fine lady it is like she never seen Winnie the Pooh in the flesh and wanted to be sure she was smooshed by his chubby ole belly. Ahh well she was a nice kid I think.

Later I found some more kids on the streets of Jungmun wherein I gave them a friendly huggy too. Pooh shall hug all cute kids- err well at least in Korea where they seem to think I am a rock star or a Prince. Well no- the little boy was shy.

These guys will save me when I crash my bike.

Oh and while waiting for the bus I did of course get a picture with two friendly 30 somethings.

Hey and lets end this with a blue eyed Korean lady- a friendly face and true blue eyes- how could one go wrong in this humble country of Confucianism? Is life a Beach?

Maybe, but not a white sand beach in Junmung.

How Pooh went MTB riding; Or, If I was a bear with little brain I need not Cart it Up the Hill Climb

2005-08-12T19:48:00.000-07:00

I went mountain biking with some Koreans from http://hallacycle.com/ who enjoyed the extremely rough fire road ride... However, I am previously spoiled on the mostly hard packed dirt of American singletrack. Still I had a fine time smoking them up the climbs, it is natural that the Lord of this isle should lead from the front- and due to my great fatness endowed by my ever devouring jaws I am beyond them when it comes to ascending to the heavens. But seriously I did let them lead the way for most of the ride it was just on the final assent that I found it tedious to abide behind their mortal struggles; therefore, I stood up and demonstrated why I only use the baby granny smallest chainring to do wheelies.
http://hallacycle.com/community/content.asp?id=569&amp;board=1&page=1&pagesize=15&kind=&find=

http://hallacycle.com/community/content.asp?id=567&board=1&page=1&pagesize=15&kind=&find=

http://hallacycle.com/community/content.asp?id=566&board=1&page=1&pagesize=15&kind=&find=

Ahhh anyhow it was quite the lumpy ride, still I suppose I should do it again sometime if only for the motivating company of the cheerful Korean fellows. Perhaps next time I can get upwind from a roe dear and sprint down upon it to take its tender carcass home for a venison roast, of course I need a butcher and a giant oven first though- legal concerns who be of no matter as this is my fief and I am...

The Jeju Prince

The Lord of Jeju Sees Much Violence Upon the Water; Or, How Pooh Battled Baseballs and later almost had a Bath- But luckily just safely witnessed Some

2005-08-02T00:07:00.000-07:00

Today I left my apartment and went to hit baseballs at the batting cages by Jeju City Hall. No helmet was given!!! What- it is not Crazy-sue-everyone-for-a-buck America!!! It is No-we-don't-need-any-hand-rails-Korea!!! (And yes this picture was taken on another day)

It is only 500 won a turn- 50cents. Anyhow, at the batting cages a cute kid and I started to talk, she was able to explain to me that she liked American Cocker Spaniels, and that she was interested in being my friend. She seemed fascinated talking with me enthralled as if I were Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom. It was all very good for my ego; however, I explained to her that we could not really be friends as it would just would not work. I think she wanted to teach me Korean. I am not sure but I think she wanted to get my phone number? She made me repeat her elementary school's name and explained the name of her local English Academy. The kid was very sweet and kind so I decided to make the best of the situation and take some happy kid pictures. I think that is her younger sisyer with her too...

Finally, I decided to give her a bit of information, so I told her where I taught English at. I said if she wanted she could call me at my place of work. Of course I did not give her a phone number. She will have to look it up in the phone book. But, it would be funny if I came back after teaching a class and had another teacher come up and told me an elementary school girl called and wanted to talk to me- Ha Ha. (I almost never answer the phone at my work place, except once in a while for the clueless humor factor. Most often, I can not tell what the caller wants, except when I recognize a name. So, she will invariablyly be talking to a serious minded Korean.) I think I was just a momentary oddity that she was intrigued with but will soon forget. The whole thing is noteworthy because the same situation would never ever ever happen in America to me- unless I really was Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom!

Later in the day I took a picture of two more silly shirts. What exactly does this mean to you?

Then there is one that is a bit graphic- I hid this girls face so as to protect her future in bible sales. No no I have yet to meet a bible saleswoman in Korea.

This one says it all: an "American Princess"

But actually she was not an American- but who knows maybe she is a princess. She does look royal next to me: The Lord of all Sweaty Stoats.

Mmmm Right,and this is the famed fountain of Jeju City that shoots water synchronized to music.

Much better than Las Vegas- as with this fountain you can run rip shod and soaking through the jets as they blast your arse.

Also I stopped at the bicycle and rollerblade kiddy dream land a safe place to do these sports, if you avoid colliding with the other children. I think it is at a place named called Tap Dong - but that is prooaobly misspelllltt.

There I ran into a cute little chubby boy getting an expedient rub down by his mom.

He and his brothers were way cute but he was wet and clean, so I was not sure if I could do a picture with him seeing as I was all sweaty from riding about.

How Overweening Pride Overcame Good Sense and Facile Foreshadowing; Or, Pooh Knows no Pain and later eats Ice cream because he can’t find any Honey Be

2005-07-26T07:28:00.000-07:00

Pride and Power – Madness without bounds and the Joy of Speed Unfettered by judicious Reasoning -Great Might and Little Wisdom – The destruction of Calories and Good Judgment – All these things can only surmount to One Lords Doom. A Doomed Champion of Hubris, Doomed by the Strength that Destroys the Body that Holds and Meters it Out – A servant that assassinated his Own Master. All Mortal Things Fade to Oblivion Souls will bide their time in eternity, yet my Spirit Guides my Flesh on in Foolishness. And so it is that my poor poor hide was scuffed, For even the Devil was Granted Power over the flesh of Job. Still unlike Job I must blame ny own folly on my bicycle Crash. For Pride comes before the Fall. Given that truth it’s high time I go down hard, and so I did. But, not by choice rather it was by default. Let me explicate this dundering juggernaut’s end. Or, to be more honest let me explain how my fat bottom smacked the poor asphalt and smeared it sick with my poisoned blood.

About a week ago my front derailleur broke.

Now this derailleur has been with me nigh six years and with the thousands of miles and shifts in it you have to give it credit. Unfortunately back in 1997 I chose to go on the Campy side and never to invest in Shimano. Obviously it is nearly impossible to get Campagnola in Jeju. Therefore, I decided to ignore the broken derailleur and just wait until I could order a new one from the local shop here. I did observe that the chain had a tendency to suddenly fall off; oerhaps because the frint derailleur was completely tweaked… ahhh if I only had a brain. Anyhow, brain stormer that I am I wrote it off as an incidental problem- the truth is and sorry this is not a boast just simple fact I only use little ring on the tougher more extended climbs, so it not a big deal staying in the big ring for almost all the ride. Err ah what was saying yeah so it fell off- that is the chain suddenly fell of as I was standing in a sudden sprint. And, this me to crash rather strikingly onto the pavement. I smacked it hard, I believe the still cracks there all swollen with my red blood. No no actually it was a rather insignificant crash I’m minorly scrapped. It hardly slowed me down. The irony is that I was on my way to the bicycle shop to get a new front derailleur and now I have on so everyone can be happy – or perhaps live in fear as I pass cars with more speed and insanity then the famed messenger Spider Jack of Chicago.

No no I am bragging I ride relatively defensively. The problem is I just seem to be always passing cars because they go to slow – it’s just the case that 25-30 mph is sometimes just to slow if I have a tailwind on the flats or another time when I am going more downhill. I don’t know the whole thing is kind of sad. So after I got my new front derailleur put on I went and got some Ice cream, but as I stated in the title I’ve yet to come upon any honey bee hives here. Not that I ever raid some domestic bee hive place, but like Pooh I’ve think it be a great pleasure to find a nice fat honey comb in a tree – then again I think it might be selfish since the bees would starve without their honey. So maybe I should just wait until I get home go to The Hundred Acre Wood Again.

This is ma great fat arse coiled inside this rump are muscle cells that propel me forward to Vainglorious Speed. Unlike Dark Helmet my powers do allow me to go up to Ludicrous Speed.

I was trying to get the back of my shoulder here it was soo funny I slid on my back like ten feet on the pavement, unfortunately this tore through my jersey and began to maw my shoulder but a eventually came to a dumbfounded stop.

My kind friend took my picture while crying in apathy errr I mean empathy.

To think I can still grin with all the terrible pain "No pain recruit. No Pain"

This is waht happens when you slide ten twenty feet pn your back... hmm I should do it again in leather.

How Pooh is Hurt by an Old Adult Wise Person at Night When He Returned from Discovering the Ocean; Or, An Unthoughtful Pain of a Limited English Base

2005-07-20T16:16:00.000-07:00

I am on a not so well earned vacation. And as I said before some people work for a living...

Hard crawling farm ladies God bless 'em.

But, I was thinking a bit about my life herein. It all seems so plain, and on the occasion wherein I cross paths with certain of a few foreign teachers their bitterness is disenchanting. A sad lot they are and the Devil has takes his dues from them in tears and regret. I do the things to make it a splash but still it seems a tad bit like a the wanna-be-sleeping-sand-crab that pinched me in the sea Yesterday. Yesterday, I believe in yesterday, but not in foolish hippies like the Beatles. I know, I know Jesu said the name of "Fool" should not be given to anyone. And, I do not hold them or any other man in contempt. But, I fear their rootless hippie seeker world view will damn them- but that's not my call, Providence shall place them in due time. You know I had a few acquaintances call me sanctimonious, which perhaps is a mark of the romantic world view. No doubt the sheep herders would have called The Knight of the Mournful Countenance sanctimonious as well. But when you believe in Universal Law, and the Ultimate demonstration and Arbiter of it, then others who do not seem diluted to you. (I know the contempt thing comes up anon- no no contempt here it is sadness for others illusions and misguided blindness. For, what is sadder than a life misspent because it is based on the denial of Truth and a foundation set in sand). Delusions yes it's unfortunate the world is cursed by its own men. Sometimes I ponder: what if all men and women were innocent, loving, forgiving, and followed the Truth. What a strange world- perhaps that was the communist dream- the dream of Utopia. Although I did not like the no real parent idea put forth in Utopia.

Err anyhow, the whole point is is that ahhh I am disappointed in the the people here. God knows I say bless them all, but to be honest sometimes I do wish they'd leave my island and be replaced by a kind hearted soul, who has not been twisted by sorcery. Yeah Yeah I know that seems way Middle Ages but, lets be honest- my world view is around 11th century... Ha Ha. I do hold to the belief that Drugs are a kind of mind altering sorcery and that those who have committed themselves unto them are oft bound to the Devil like Dr. Faust, and from there bindings they come like the willful Faust to not wish escape from the Demons that played them like pawns and dipped there bodies into flames. But, let me not shortchange the power of the Truth. There is always hope for men as long as they are alive. All men can be radically changed.

Anyhow, those were my reflections on my limited interactions with a few of the misguided but never the less sentient creatures here- God bless 'em all. Now, just so as not to seem condescending and sanctimonious let me add that I myself, knowing the Way, should be more diligent in being formed and improved upon via my own knowledge of the Truth.

Now, I'd like to reflect on yesterday ahhh right. So I went biking. I do ever hate the bus:

"Forever and ever we hates bussins! forever curse the busssens! We curses its forever!"

Ergo, I packed my snorkel, suit, camera, sandals (as I rode in my Carnac click in Shoes) , lock, and faithful orangutan and set out on my road bike to Hyeopjae Beach; so ahh I left outie here and went along the side road up to the Jeju Drivers License place.

Then I made my descent far down down to Road 16. Along 16 I came upon a strange sight- can you guess what they are:

Indeed, "The sleeper must awaken." Under thier newspaper blankets these sweet melons dreamed of being used for the good of a Greater Belly.

And, so it was that Pooh of the Drooling Tongue came upon them. No no- Not a one melon did I so harm as such would be making me a monstrous melon thief.

Not far from the Beach now- see the isle in the distance?

Later, I reached Hyeopjae Beach. I saw a small angel eating ice cream, or perhaps it was a little girl I'm unsure...

I also ran into some Beach patrol officials who directed me to not sit on the paid sitting.

A strange thing about Koreans is their perchant for swimming in their clothes, I guess they do not want to tan. Or, maybe they are very modest. Anyhow here are some happy kids in their chosen "swimwear".

Then of course, I was pinched by a crab- perhaps the highlight of the swim. Unfortunately, I decided not to swim to the nearby island because there were to many speed boats jetting around pulling banana boat riders.

Now let us not forget two very cute children. The mother told them to say "Hello" to me, but as you can see they had greater sea adventures planned...

Fair thee well ocean punks, may the Lord of the Oceans and all above and beneath it let nary an ocean tear touch you.

The ocean of Jeju. Mayhap it'll suffice even for a salt dog who has tasted the mermaids' spit.

Why Pooh felt bad Whilst Walking; Or, The Evil Waffen SS in Korea?! Help Me! (Piglet)! Help!

2005-07-19T15:47:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time I went for a balmy walk about in Jeju City. Or, if pronounced as a Korean, "Chayjew Shitee." Err anyhow I came upon a disturbing blazon. The Mark of heraldry for a now defunct organization of Elite Warriors. Namely the Waffen SS. Now let me make it clear: I DO NOT admire Hitler. He was arguably Demon Possessed. And, I would further add I think the 6 million plus Genocide of Jews and many others was a Evil that is beyond the written word to condemn. However, I did read a bit of the Biography of the German General Rommel and he did not seem wholly and purely EVIL like Adolph Hitler. But, then he was by his leadership with Hitler a Genocide Killer by default- and more than just nominally complacent in the Genocide. This web site argues differently. But, remember this is coming from the Internet. My information comes from books found at the library.
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http://www.achtungpanzer.com/gen1.htm

Erwin Rommel is one of the few commanders, who was not involved in any war crimes. Rommel was highly respected by his enemies and was considered to be the last of the knights. During the North African Campaign, Rommel often cut the water rations of his troop, so that the prisoners of war could survive. His personal papers and notes, all put together by Lucie-Maria Rommel and Fritz Bayerlein, titled "Rommel Papers" ("Krieg ohne Hass"), were published for the first time in 1950 and described all of Rommel's combat and personal experiences. In post-war years, Erwin Rommel's son Manfred became Mayor of the city of Stuttgart.

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But, ahhh I went off on a tangent. I was thinking more in line with the Evil PC Room Sign in Jeju City. Right I saw it thus:

Pretty weird aye? I went up into this PC Room and explained to the guy sitting at the desk that his SS Bird Mascot was EVIL. But, he was too poor at English to comprehend. And, let's be fair- my Korean is woeful. Still it is unfortunate that any knowledgeable person who visits Jeju will think badly of it when they see this Wafflen SS Sign. That is most people- I suppose Nazi lovers would be happy to see it. Maybe I should write a letter to the owner explaining how his sign is offensive or have a Korean friend tell him for me. I don't know I suppose it's a free country, but still there are some symbols which only serve EVIL.

How pooh came to eat Chocolate Coffee at a Cafe, And feeling bitter made a writ of the Nurses Who would not Feed Him Chocolate.

2005-07-18T17:24:00.000-07:00

A Korean Coffee Shop Hymn...

Life grows cold and when all that is left is a warm java goblet to uphold you. Then you know it is time that God burned you like Jonah in the hot sun. It's a comfy little cafe and the nurses from the nearby hospital come in. But, what are they really without coffee? Will they have nothing, denied a cell phone, tvelivision and a cyworld site- would they exist. Would their passing have meaning? Is java the key to happiness?

The pink girl's shirt; Or, Why the kindly Pooh left the hippies face a Mystery

2005-07-18T17:00:00.000-07:00

This poor Korean did not realize she supported that evil rebel cause that embraced drugish sorcery and base uncommitted lust. Yes I speak of the freakish Hippies those evil ones who the Cambodians and Vietnamese can thank for the American withdraw. Sometimes I think it would have been better if the USA had H-bombed the Chinese to stop them from sending in heroin using conscripts in the 1950's Korean War. Then America could have made it a proper banana republic and saved so many who suffered (and now suffer) under the Evil Communist Rule. And DO NOT argue China is not an evil state. Even now they supplant American and British interests in African countries that were once only giving oil to the colonial Powers. Oppps got off on an Imperialist tangent again- But, truth be told I am Dux Bellum Uther and Count Rothalandus of the Brenton Marches... ahhhh what was I talking about yeah yeah ahhh this kid she has a goofy hippie shirt on...

The question still remains what twisted mind would combine the snobbish preppie icon of Tommy Hilfiger and and the dirty sooo non-preppie hippie archetype? Someone in the clothing industry is a sick individual.

At any rate I have hidden the minors identity in case some little kids see her face and later mock her as a foolish hippie. Perhaps someday she will become wise and change her foolish fashion.

The High and Lofty Ladies of Jeju; Or, No My Lady, Stay Upon Your High Horse as you work your pleasure Suits; And other curious Pictures...

2005-07-09T01:16:00.000-07:00

My Buddy is from merry ole England. He claims this women is silly because lifting loads of foods into stacked position is best done in flat platform shoes. But, from the woman's point of view perhaps it is more advantageous since she gains a few extra inches via her heels.

I myself have seen women hiking Mount Halla, traversing the sandy beach, and spelunking in Jeju's caves with high-heeled shoes. But, I hardly thought it warranted a picture. However, my chum claimed it was outrageously amusing and insisted that he take a picture. Well, let's put it in a positive light and say: at least she is a diligent stock lady.

This is a curious sign that intrigued me as it contains so much human interest: A singing toilet, a sure fire weight loss program.

I'm not sure on the exavt translation; I'll have to research it.

And finally a stylish hair salon in Jeju City, I believe th stylist has just said, "No the gel just doesn't work for me I switched to plutonium silicone spray."

The Sunday Adventure Continued; Or, When Soggy Pooh Dries off On Children

2005-07-03T05:12:00.000-07:00

Well Outside of the Kim Bap Shop I found a young man without a clue how very filthy he was showing himself off to the English Speakers of the World. What a pity. I told him his shirt was "dirty" "sex" he patiently denied it saying "no" "no."

Well, I did try, and I think the real question is who are the evil forces behind the creation of these clothes...hmmm this is a job for the know-it-all finger pointer Dr. James Dobson. He might say something like: "We need to fix this problem now I demand you all vote like I tell you to or you are all fools. And yes I am always right!"

Later I went towards the world famous [in Jeju] Wind Surfing spot Iho Beach. I saw some strange black garbed fish people. I took a picture of them so I could report them to the Harbor Patrol. I think they were all North Korean Spies. Or they might of been space aliens. They seemed harmless enough so I allowed them a while longer on my island.

This is a cute little punk in SIn Jeju I met on my way down. Why she was interested in getting a picture with me I have no clue. Perhaps, she thought I was a movie star.

Let me be honest ok. The truth is I am not mortal. I am a demigod. It is not by my incredible strength that I have gained rulership here. Everyday I arise from this tomb after Jeju Pagan Worshipers gather and make a bloody sacrifice: two dogs, one pig, and sixty-six Jeju tangerines. After which, they roast the dogs and feed it to the pig, then later in the night I return and eat the pig marinated in the tangerines. I then urge them all to turn their backs on their pagan grandfather gods and worship only Me, the one true god.

No, no it's a joke God- don't strike me dead.

Incidentally, I've asked many Koreans about this and they all claim it to be true. Apparently, the Grandfather scholar and warrior stone gods were fertility penis idols. I know it sounds dirty- but I am not creating this history. So, the ancient Jeju wives use to offer sacrifices and pray to these penis gods for children. It's all very Freudian isn't it?

There was a Light House I climbed up upon after a short swim. Sorry no waterproof disposable camera left so you 'll have to take me at my boast. It wasn't really that far. I saw a schools of silvery fish and a two jelly fish.

These children of Iho beach punks volunteered to take their picture with their Lord and Master The Jeju Prince. Christ bless them all.

Everyday is Like Sunday; Or, When Smaugs Gluts

2005-07-03T04:48:00.000-07:00

I had a fine Sunday lunch in Jeju City in the best of all possible Kim Bap restaurants in the best of all possible worlds. It is as if all things were destined to be as this, and if I did see Martin even smiling after eating here I would not be surprised. But, I 'm much wiser and thoughtful than Candide. Umm ok so I thought I'd show some unflattering Korean Piggy time photos:

The Start: (Well ok I did eat about four slices already sorry Pooh himself could have done no better)

Kim Bab.
Famous ground in the dirt Korean Quotes
"Do you know how to use chopsticks?" "Oh you berry good with chopsticks!"

Kim Chee (Notice the tasty Kim Bap remnants on the Greedy tongue) I love rotten cabbage! Remember you scoffing pompous connoisseurs- wine and beer are the waste products of yeast.

The Finish- "Ahh MeGook mocktah very fat Pigaa!" "You eating very good!"

2005-07-01T06:39:00.000-07:00

I have a light saber I used it in the Smacaldic Wars and later in the Napoleonic wars. But, as any discerning person would know light sabers only work against laser, crossbow, spear, arrow and similar slow moving projectile fire. I mean any fool who watched the Star Wars movies noticed how they could follow the laser beams with their eyes as they were fired from the storm troopers laser guns.

However, with the era of 2000 fps plus bullets it is impossible for the Jedi (or Dark Sith Sir Edward Pooh de Bear Lord Like Me) to block them with his light saber and so I had to switch to the rifle and fragmentation type weapons with the introduction of high powered rifles. But, I'm hoping I can invent some cool magnetic tractor beam force field like in Dune. Then I'll be able to fight with the proper gentlemen chivalry bladed weapon.

As Pooh would have it the Light Saber best use bread Cutter and instant butter warmer.

The Udo campaign - an idyllic time of hugs, and the Angry Chinese Luncheon

2005-06-26T00:56:00.000-07:00

Ok well Let's talk about Who doe err whoo bow er Kudos to Udo. I think I shall begin my campaign of conquest with Udo. Then I build a Castle on top of Seongsan for a landhold. From there I will sally to and fro and raze, raid, and ravage the rest of the Jeju Island until it is subservient to me. Then my Golden Age Rule of Peace will commence. The problem I have is retainers, swords, armor, and suitable mounts for my warriors. Mmmm I need to fing out where I can get some good Wolf mounted Goblins hired. Saruman seemed to have no trouble with his army mustering. But then again Saruman already had Orthantic Tower as his established Fortress. Maybe I'll just stick to teaching a time or two longer. Anyone know where I can recruit a good evil army of orcs?

This is where I'll put at least one of my castles:

Errr but on my way to and fro from walking about the earth I paused to board ship anon. On the Ferry to Udo I found fey fairies:

And a lass whose boyfriend childishly gripped his fist while she voluntarily was captured in my fat paws:

These are some teachers I happened to meet here on my quest for world domination and the incidental related student Americanization I brain delve into while on my Island:

This is a group of women I later discovered were all married and on a holiday together. At any rate, it was a mere friendly hug. However, I thought it was charming how the one lady is grimacing in my great Pooh Bear Hug - as if she'd never been squashed in the arms of a fat Honey Glutting Monster before:

Mmm well then there was the island adventure let's see what did happen on that Isle of Dread? ...

Well we rented bicycles for our island circumvention. Sam and I got a tandem. I know this is a terrible truth and I am shamed to admit it- but it is the first time I really rode anywhere on a tandem. It was a harrowing time for my partner as I steered and braked sparingly but pedaled generously in the big fat gears that sent us at crazy full corner cutting speeds. We stopped by a restaurant with a big white thingy of statue- or is it a frozen albino monkey? Gadzooks!! those evil islanders have frozen an Albino Monkey in stone.

Had I realized it then I would have freed the poor trapped soul and met out the punishment warranted for such sadism! Why I suffer this in my Princely rule... Well The Lord allowed Israel to kill the prophets too..

But all is not tainted with cruelty on Udo Island for at the very foot of the Enchanted Frozen Albino Monkey I found two little girls as sweet as clover honey.

And on the beach I found a Lass so Bonny even the salty fish envied our embrace:

Err anyhow, according to my friend Sam there was but one Chinese restaurant on the Island adjacent to the school. Sadly however my Friend J. became disconcerted with the cuisine. They insisted that the black sauce substance was not Chinese food but rather a Korean dish. I happily swapped dishes with J. and all things looked to be solved. Until the lady told him he had in fact ordered @#%&@!?+&$ instead of *(&^&%$^%() Ok I have no clue what the names were but my cohorts claimed the lady had not listened to their initial order. I have no clue, and to be honest don't much care to quibble with restaurateurs as restaurateurs by nature are absorbent treats. Thus it is tha tPohh seeks the food of others in their own homes or brought from them.

But the skin diving was wayyyyy sweet tons of fish everywhere from 2 inches too two feet I spotted. Nothing too exotic, it was not a boring skin dive.

The Story of a Black Dragon, Black Wheel, Tan Cow, and a Jet Judicial Jeju Sea Coast Bada Pirate

2005-06-25T23:54:00.000-07:00

Ok well let me explain the title first:

The kind owner of Halla Cycle here in Sin Jeju has loaned me his wheel until my hub comes from Italy. Now as every crank mashing Monster Road Rider knows Campagnola R00lZ!!!! Ergo I must needs be sequestering a new hub from Italy as my other was destroyed. Let me stress and twist this this Absolute Power destroys absolutely and Nigh Absolute Leg Torque will destroy even the Strongest Forged Metal in Due time. Thus it is my hub succumbs to mine own Great Fat Powers of Torque threaded from my blood swelled thews...

So ah yeah I got a Black Mavic Wheel now that the kindly owner foolishly lent me. For, though I promised to treat it well, I never truly can. Inside my skin there is destructive torque that is channeled to my drive train. And, these in turn are meted out to my blood fed sheaths of flesh. For my legs are the building blocks of tons of honey, chocolate, bacon double cheese burgers, and ice cream- verily nothing can suffer their stored fatness for long.

This is Dragon Head Rock - Looks more like a Rabbit Head Rock to me ....

Err ok the Tan Cow right... Well upon my ride on the Shore Coast Road I came upon a cow. The cow knew me and feared my ever hungering Carcharoth Jaws, but in his wisdom he left off fleeing. He knew I had no skinning knife, barbecue grill, and charcoal on hand. Perhaps some day I will return to him and buy his perfect life only to end it in a great beach beef roast. Then again the flies torment him so- perhaps he be happy to be slain for a good cause- My Belly. A cow's life is a doomed life. But, before he meets Aslan he can savor a few bits of grass.

And of course there is the jet left- that tis me. For I am the Black looking Judiciary of Mine Island here - more capable in battle than the Black Prince too. Ummm right ah so I was like ahhh riding around the coast kinda like a Pirate might ummm and Bada means ocean in Korean Talk.

And I have been getting a lot of flack from certain people I know about the content of an already done "Huggy Post" wherein I proclaim my love for hugging all I can grasp. So in defense of that I like to place some elder statesmen to uphold my case of good heart meant. I am POOH! These guys look like they'd get along fine with Piglet and I for a picnic.

Some gentlemen who were conversing by the famed dragon rock...

Who owes me chocolate from my MRE? Who would not let me wear my gloves? We will have a fair wrestle time if I get my wish...

2005-06-01T22:41:00.000-07:00

These guys called me mean names - they hurt my inner child. I owe them a speech: A talk that says I think they were not so nice. And also I want to wrestle them. I am the stronger. They will lose. Then I'll let them go as a gentleman. But, we need to talk a bit about some mean things they said. Still they were not so bad - I hope they are ok now - being a Marine in a War Zone is dangerous sometimes because other people are mean too.

Freebird - Or the land of No Hugs and Child Abuse

2005-05-27T06:01:00.000-07:00

America. The land I made war for. The land I made garbage in. The land of real cookies, pizza, and wary children. No child here have I hugged at the prodding of his/her mother. No group of silly curious children trail me about the parks here and poke at me while I do sit-ups. I am free. And I grow fatter, stronger, and more evil. For the evil of America soaks into my Great Knight's Heart. I feel the pain the pain of the Americans - it twists them and changes them all into vampires. We rule this world and will drain it of beef, oil, and chocolate. The poor peoples of the third world nations feed our evil bellies and we grow fatter and stronger upon their broken backs. And low a nation comes to compete with us: China - but their lumbering totalitarian clowns and kickback fed economy will smother it's rising power. Anyhow, as long as I still can get milk, chocolate chip cookies, honey, and nachos I'll be sated - no need to launch my great evil fat belly into motion to counter another nation- besides to be honest I haven't completely wrest control of Jeju from the foolish government powers who believe they should rule in my stead. But soon I will tire of this charade and sally forth from my castle with all orcs, wolf mounted goblins, and trolls charging behind my blazon. The glorious war will gain me this small island as my own - then these Koreans will forget their petty Dokdo / Takeshima arguments and realize that the Jeju prince has finally asserted his moral rule of Jeju and made it a physical one as well. And who better to rule this island then me?

The Lord of Battles ... What fools must I make War Upon to Insure our Oil The sands Will drip with the drops of melted chocolate Hershey bars from my red lips.

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The Rifleman's Creed

by Major General W. H. Rupertus, USMC

THIS IS MY RIFLE. There are many like it but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I master my life. My rifle, without me is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than any enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will....

My rifle and myself know that what counts in this war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, nor the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit...

My rifle is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weakness, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my rifle clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

Before God I swear this creed. My rifle and myself are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life. So be it, until victory is America's and there is no enemy, but Peace
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The Pooh Creed [Fat ESL Master Smaug Creed]

This is my rifle- there are many like it but this one is mine. I have a life. My life is not won with a rifle. Honey and Chocolate and cream make me live. I will eat. My rifle was black but honey is the same color as 5.56 unspent shells. I know it is not the amount of chocolate I eat, nor the sighs that I make when belly is full, but the chocolate in my belly that counts. I will not calorie count. I must kill the enemy before he kills me. This is not hard because chocolate does not fight back. I will eat chocolate. I do not see any enemy because I went to bed. I will sleep... But later I will wake up and eat some more...
Where is my rifle? There was an armorer I gave mine. My rifle was not my best friend. My rifle was cold towards life. I know that it is not the rifle I had, white waif Blake I fed, but the lack of sight. I will not look or count. I must go to bed because there are no enemy. The enemy can't get me, because I am in the fat country. I will sleep.

But, let's come back to reality now and leave my Tolkien nonsense to the hoobits. Err yeah I'm now on vacation in America - I had a fine time in Seoul where I met around eight other teachers. We ate our meal and ahh... Well let me do a cut and paste from my comment on it... a flash back to Seoul...

Well let me say it was a fine time but a bit of an anti climax -

You see here I ponder from a dark corner in a pc room a mile from Gimpo airport - what could possibly hold me back from making merry in the Hub of Asia: Seoul? Baggage yes three kinds of baggage - Eye, Mental and Physical.

Eye: Well lets face it My visage is aged and my eyes are baggy - I am an old veteran and my 1000 mile stare is enough to bore anybody. I'm an ole Devil Dog who should of been slain long ago - but like Elric, in the Monty Python Viking Movie, I continue to rage on and eat overpriced Mexican food. Just how cheap am I well? In order to compensate for spending 23,000 on 1 margarita, one coke and one cassadia I will stake out this Pc room until 5 am when the Incheon bus leaves across the street. No hotel for this cheap B st "Dastard"

Mental: My mental instability became apparent at the get together - I raved and boasted about how well traveled, race winning, and lucky I was, while the others spoke of practical things like KOrean language. I'd like to apologize for weirding out, and I promise to never again and strip naked to prove my musculature lines. Luckily I had already charmed the 20 year old waitress or she would not have been able to stop the manager from calling the riot police. (They've been following me since I got to SEOUL) I think perhaps I should give up on the friend thing- megalomaniacs can never really have friends anyway - but on the bright side I think the others hit it off pretty well with each other.

Physical: Yes my actual luggage train was tremendously incommodious - and discombobulated the group - though I'd like to thank the huge guy _____ who helped me carry it down the subway stairs. But, ultimately I think it was a real party killer - err group diffusion dictates the group flows like mercury - and to my chagrin (that is a cool word I'm way smart huh? Well I have until 5am to type so I can just blather on about words pedantically) I was the small little slow blob of mecury that broke off from the main ball -errr so yeah I did not have a subway card thing, they did and thus we were slashed asunder they to wherever they went and me to a bootless journey to a closed Domestic Airport. I should have planned the AAirport bus egress schedule but I had taken it as a given that a sooo way hot ESL tall stranger triple would show up and offer me their Penthouse sweet in Kangnam (which would have been proper as a triple and I would of been comfortable company as opposed to a single thus making a couple therefore producing the coupling temptation as I am so much like Lancelot) Err so my fate then was to be distraught and whiney in this PC Bang but as I shared before it is a result of my poor planning and assumption that one of you would bother to host me, and what kind of naive lad/lasss would offer me lodging knowing I'd eat all the sweets in their home and put offal rings around there pot.
And lets not forget my gluttony - The fact is I ate two plates of the ladies' leftovers - and you know what ladies think about a guy who eats after them - not to mention I demonstrated my barbaric finger utensilless technique.

However, I'd like to end this on a positive note and say that I might later put some happy hug pictures of our gathering online - I checked with the participants and they gave verbal consent. Never the less, said parties feel free to PM me and I will then never publish them on Dave's- but I will still sell them to La Salsa for tourist brochure pictures. Further, I feel like I now know that the idea of finding friends on the internet is just like it sounds - quite absurd - but it is enjoyable to discover the flesh behind the fonts. Whhhhew that is badddd pun way lame I think I should post now before I get much more stupidinger. Anyhow, thanks coming out; yet,I am a bit hurt inside my inner child that none wanted to host my filthy, scared, and rotten smelling carcass - but don't feel bad by Sunday I'll be chillin in my American best friend's hot tub bragging about how popular, rich, loved, and happy I am in Korea, and how I feel bad for him having to pay off his convertible, house, motorcycle and kids' stuff.

Err yes so back to the now yes I am in the USA! I r00lz here. Errr well I will seek something I had... there was a soul I sought were was the thirty year old maid? Oh mayhap she is not to be found. No matter I have destroyed the earth here - My MTB I ride anon I powerslide I grab air and all deer and forest animals fear me. As they know I am the Flight Boy the wacked out MTB monster I was raging all through the forest and I only crashed three times on my vacation so far - minor crashes too. And one of those was due to headset looseness. I got a new Klien with XTR soon very soon I shall ride again in Jeju and there too I will destroy the turf but will I in turn be destroyed by the earth. God alone knows, but I am insured and have a slew of sick days so what's wrong with some broken ribs and a puntured lung or two? Well no no I'll ride safe and in control- I mean so many students are counting on my great fat mouth and brain - I must maintain the cage and bellows that push hot air through them.

So I know what all my readers are asking- did I embrace a silicone thing - myth of sand made to glass. [ silcone = a person I met via the computer and may have been a fake but was not a sand man but a real woman- those internet friend things oft are jokes]A thing that was thought and faith alone. Yes I did I hugged dreams that were only imagined and never truly believed to be flesh - just like Thomas - but I touched not the divine only the flesh made in his image. And the beauty held thought, kindness, and wisdom. But, their was only a dinner and only quaint discourse nothing more. Why should there of been? She lives in the mainland and I dwell far away ruling my Jeju island. Maybe someday she will come to me? We could hike or swim- maybe but then again maybe I'll be to busy with my two bikes to spend time with a kind, sweet, and charming American woman (who can talk English real fast too) - NOT.

Oh yeah there were some guys there too ---

and another lass or two mmmm they were polite and ahhhh interested in riding the subway too. That good come to think of it most all of them were interested in the subway. Perhaps my blue rolling bike case frightened them. Oh well, I shant contact them for another meet again- they did not insist on sheltering my great bulk - and I am not one to impose my will upon others. So ah I guess I'll just stick to biking and writing my novel. Maybe I should make some more nice church friends- funny thing about that though they never want to meet me outside of church mmm maybe I should take up a team sport like ahhhh mmmmm baddmitten yeah yeah I should join a baddmitten club then I could ahhh make ahhh badmitten friends. Ok well I need to go into town and wander about in a aimless fashion talking incessantly very fast and boasting about my job, friends, home, and sporty times in Korea.

How Winne the Pooh the Huggy Monster is Hurt... Or: Never Call Again- She is my fiancée

2005-05-15T02:40:00.000-07:00

{"I’d like you to never call this number again..."}

Words of an educated man (two languages at least) to an Overgrown Stoat of Bombast and Panache beyond his ken.

For, he must not have known I am his Lord - The Jeju Prince and Master of this Island of Mine. It is by my good will and kindness that Jeju is Safe. All the Hefalumps and Wuzzles know and fear me. Sans my Matchless Arm verily they would come hence and crush anon as was it was crushed aver and anon. It's such a small island and yet it has a plethora of monuments, and memorials to those poor folk who crushed by some Foreign invader. It hurts my pure heart it does, but they shant fear as long as I abide here on my Fief. But when I withdraw to my Realm across the Sea Avalon - scads of scarred and greedy creatures will draw nigh and oppress these humble folk anon. Ahhh tis strange they doth not beg my stay...

There is power in the words never ever never ever and anon ..."Never Again" And yet this is more of a simple case of possession- Not the dealings of a Holocaust. Mmm yes so then let's not reflect on the slaughter of six-million plus civilians. Very Bad sport that Cpl --- Cpl Napoleon Bonaparte and there was another CPL too - much more brilliant and kinder too wut was his name? It will come it will come first there is an island to cry HAVOC on... VALHALLA! Errr opps sorry no I do not follow the Norse god system, but ti makes for spirited reading. But I never call butchering Sea Side Monkeries or is it Monkey Bees mmm not I think the name is Monasteries as in Monastic does that come from Mono like ahh one sex alone. Err I mean no sex as in sworn apart from the other gender and sex too...even the righteous marriage kind. Whoa how did I stray there umm I was talking about ah Never yeah Never Again! Liquidating hapless non-combatants is not a just war it is unholy murder. So as to Adolph Hitler then I say: "You were not worthy of the rank of CPL for outstanding disservice and completely deserting the tradations and duties of the United States Marine Corps I hereby sentence you to Death... opps to late he capped himself in the roof of his evil yapper already. Oh well but now to a more gentle and much less sad topic at hand or shall we say in the arms but now never again to be tactiled...

No let us reflect on my very small but delightfully amusing loss -- the loss of perfection the loss of a dream that never was - the loss of a love I had only in my machinations- err machinations sounds soo evil... mmmm how evil is it to attempt to date a lass who claims she already has a boyfriend - is it a great evil. Well I guess it depends on how the Lover woes the lass away from her original romance. Lover sounds so very serious - all I really wanted was to get to know soooo beautiful RX master a bit better. Now perchance should she be as kind and sweet as her appearance then sure enough I would have tried to make her my own bride in time. But, much to my chagrin this lass not only had a boyfriend but the boyfriend apparently had fiancée err her... so ummm yeah maybe I should explain this...

Ok I entered a pharmacy- I saw that the pharmacist was a beautiful lady. I asked her for a picture with me. She agreed. We spoke more of the usual sort of friendly exchanges. (Her English was most Excellent Dude) I asked her for her phone number, she said she had a boy friend (NOT a fiancée). I said we could just be friends- she and her female coworker pharmacist and I could get together. She then agreed and gave me her phone number. Later I sent two text messages saying, It was nice meeting you. We should go to a cafe or eat together. You are a sweet Lady. And, If you send me your email I can email you the pictures in the drugstore. Then a man called my phone. He was good at English. He was polite. But he was firm. He said she was his fiancée. He said never call again. I agreed. Then I deleted her number. However, I still have her pictures. She is beautiful. I wish her well. I hope she calls me again when she breaks up with her "fiancée ". Anyhow, I guess I should just forget about Korean Ladies. There are hundreds of Single English Speaking Foreigners on Mine Island of Jeju – NOT!
Ok so here is her picture.

This is where I test just how popular or unpopular this blog is - will a Jeju person email me and demand I delete this picture? Will he/she find out? Mmmmm the question remains - But after all is said and done it was just a friendly hug - and hugs are good for the health- everyone knows physical contact is good for health. I wonder how those Eastern Orthodox Monks do locked away in their Cloisters? No hugs at all. But maybe the Spirit of God Hugs them... If I ever go to Russia I'll have to ask one.....

Ok Just Who Wins The Huggy World Cup - Why Me Of Course Pooh is Loved by All

2005-05-03T23:12:00.000-07:00

Ok now I like to take this post to show.........
all the Koreans I have hugged before-
who've been smoshed and pulled despite my spore
This song had to End
and I'm sure you didn't think you lend
a help to this stupid blog only a few have read before
So I dedicate this post to all the happy huuggy punks out there - and I'll have to add on as the Hugg Monster goes forth to smoosh innocent people again....

sweet little Jeju punky kid

more happy little punks of Jeju - and they bike too!

Bali Punky Gang A more dangerous group of children You Sahnt find NOT! I take a bullet for these punk kids any day no problem right in the gut.

some happy 18 year old punks

hard working Bali ladies of Bubba Gump Shrimp

A Bali DVD Pirate Arrr She be a Cruel Law Breaker I wager

mmm Some Kind Jeju College Kid

Airport Workers of Bali what to do bored the Airport? Why hug the bored clerks of course they can hardly flee from the Huggy Monster!

mmm this is a college lass of Jeju not to keen on the hug- mmm I had to press her but her friend took the picture none the less The monster of Hugs Will Win! All will Love The Mighty Pooh!

such sweet little punky kids of Thai land Jesu bless 'em

I am serious when I say this- these Thai girls approached me first and were very very eager to huggy the Great Orange Orangutan Huggy Monster-

I gifted the skinny Koa Toa punk with the Icecream for Pooh is a Kindly fellow after all

mmm I am a redneck snorkel hero of Koa Toa they knows it!

Koa Toa Punks - Must hug Punk Kids very cute!

The Thai Mother loving offered her poor innocent to the Huggy Monster taking our picture- But soon enough I released her from my Chubby Hands

Ahhha The Huggy Monster Grabs Hold of a large pretty Seoul Girl- Will she Love him forever?

Pooh also loves Honey and Australian Girls but best of all he likes both- now if he only had a Honey Pot in Hand his felicity would be complete

Kindly Pooh even loves the descendants of the Romans - despite the way they treated Bears who came to their Goat Pastures

A skinny Koa Toa punk Never the Less he was captured and Hugged for the Camera

More Seoul Girls Hugged without Mercy The Huggy Monster shall squeeze all The Love he can get from them mmmm and later they even fed me after my greedy smooshing

I hardly call this a hug mmm well These Thai guys did not seem to interested must have just got their cheeks pinched by their Mamas

The Great Pooh will also Hug the Non-Conformists

This is the kindly Pooh trying to check if this sweet Jeju Lady has been eating honey before he arrived without him - a most unkind thing - but her belly did not seem to be swelled

What a bunch of shy Middle School Girls - But it's no use against the great Fat Huggy Pooh!

Do you understand these goals... Or; Have You done a bit of proofing...? Errr Pooh Helps Us in are Rits

2005-05-02T19:27:00.000-07:00

Reality churns butter err I mean farm girls do that... If I think about milk farms I Always think of Tess... Sad twisted story that. But, this is to be about Jeju how about a picture of a school's set of goals...tell me what you think of them- Bear in mind it's not my school nor did I compose the goals in English- but it's good to have goals... Mmmm Goals mmmm what goals do you have here are a school's goals... Granted I did not write them nor do I work at the school- yet, somehow I find them intriguing in a pedantic way...

How Flesh Can Tear Apart Metal; Or, If Pooh were to Ride What would become of It?

2005-04-28T06:23:00.000-07:00

These are Middle School Girls.
Watch them scrub.
Scrub Girls! Scrub!
Oh Happy Girls.
Were you in America,
You be fat and undubbed.
But in Jeju you Work,
With scraper and green quirt.
Your sword and sand,
Oh Happy Cleaning Land
Lucky for you You didn't See Pooh!
Never an American School Girl!

That was some terrible poetry but hey it took me two minutes to write soo ahhh well it should ahhhh

mmm sorry that was a bit vulgar but I like bunnies...

But there is a great and tragic flaw an a power of the flesh - not the mind - which destroys and tears steel over time and distance... It is mine own blood that drives mine great bulk and in turns fatigues the best Mavic wheels...

Is there anyone out there with a spare wheel I can borrow before I get a new one from the US? I just need a passable straight and training worthy front wheel ... I can even pay for the rental... Oh well I suppose I be getting a bit chubby for the next three weeks...

Pride is Not always Secrete But it may unlock the way to Davey Jones' Dark Locker Should A Fool Swallow Too Much Brine2Sicken Even His Swelled Belly

2005-04-25T08:38:00.000-07:00

From da bus station, I wandered like wriggling stoat or wayward toad past da KAL, The Paradise, and the sewage treatment plant. Eventually, I found the beach again, and therein under a canopy abutting a squat building sat thirty laborers deftly slicing urchins open. I boasted as to my endurance and strength dropping my bag and gesturing to "Seopseom!"

"I swim there - see mask and snorkel." offering them some of my water. I don't have fins here- besides Mr. Toad never used fins.

A 50'ish man with some duality of talk clarified me pointing and then saying, "Swim?"
I go, "Yeah easy."
But the shore fish urchin processors attempted to dissuade my solo folly saying,
"No crazy" "You kill" "Dangerous"
-I says to them poor fish urchin carvers:
"No I am Strong- Strong -look at my legs."
Pointing to my huge 600 pound squatting trunks. The generous fish bladers even offered me one of them buoy markers that the Diver ladies use - but of course I refused - who ever heard of a golden double bubble hero / or Spatznatz Frogman with a ponderous and uncool Styrofoam bouy attached to him?
Dolph Lungren, "I'm still Spatznatz" "Errr but I need a buoy please."

I got a tad bit nervous cuz I lost sight of the bottom- but I went on anyhow cuz I'm quacky and besides I am a super hero- still there was many big and colorful fish things. I think they must live in the ocean here. I don't know what they was doing. I didn't eat any. But, after a time or two of the fish chasing I climbed up on island.

On the island I met an orange orangutan who offered me tea and dried squid. I refused the tea but ate the raw dried squid. I've eaten it before- sometimes my students tear off pieces for me.

The Orangutan spake prophesying,

"You are the great Lord of all Stoats; this I know, but before we Orange Folk will offer our featly unto you, first you must conquer the twisted marmots of the vile Narnia Woods."

Pride will Choke You,
As Your Black Mind Will Cloak You.
Your Body shant float you.
Nor will the Blood Revolt you.
But in your Dark vision of Blue recall:
The Sea conquers All.
And the Lord who Made Is Above and Below it's
Dread Beck and Call.
Should you Die A Fool beneath the Waves
Only that Feasting fish will Call
You friend and Kind Host to them All.

I was going to ask him why he hated the hapless marmot folk - but he disappeared in a sulfuric poof of air. This noxious mist and his dislike of the portly creatures of Narnia made me think he was a devilish Sorcerer- must have been one of those disgruntled servants of the wicked one- maybe he wanted to start a Korean English schoool. Regardless, I swam back leisurely, the tide assisted me, and I haven't seen him since.

When I arose like Poseidon or some seal-snatching-Orca...
the brine shed from my frame like the chocolate syrup from the lips of a fat baby. The diligent urchin splitters paused from their tedium gazing with awe at the Dread Maniac Akhilleus. For Beowulf had come forth from his 3 day swim slaying the sea monsters unscathed and tireless.
They uttered things like, "Very good." "You strong." Then I sat next to the urchin cutters again, took a picture, and stowed my gear. This sweet sixty year old lady said to me "I love you" and smiled.
I go, "Oh yeah thanks." and patted her on her shoulder. I guess I could of hugged her but that might have been too fresh.

I left Soggy to return to my holdfast of Toad Hall. Jeju is my Fiefdom and as The true Golden Lord of the Lonely Mountain – more eloquent and tougher than Arthur Craven and kinder and more fanciful than Jacques Vache – I am- by the Great Chain of Being and The Divine Right of Kings: The Last Dada Prince who yet Lives, mine roolz is Never and Never.

The LORD of the RING or: Was the Great Golden Lord Smaug truly slain?

2005-04-18T06:14:00.000-07:00

The Lord Of Jeju Paused for a moment and contemplated his subjects; the ones he was sworn to serve by his matchless arm and indomitable courage their protection was his deemed fight...

"The Chocolate has he the chocolate!?!"
"If it is within his Terrible Right Hand all art Doomed!"

All other enemy battles shall be lost should he gain control of his vested power anon. For in that block his essence was formed- it would be the Doom of all Middle Earth should he regain His Lost Power. None shall pass him on the foothills winding descents and it is by his leave only that trucks depart without his shadowy slipstream. The Dark Lord of the Red Eye sees all upon his Tower and always always he is seeking what was cut from his foul hand...

The Lord of the Rings

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all,
One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all
and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

The Lord of the Ring

One Ring churned for tailwinds under the sky,
Seven clowns passed in their fool-box homes,

Nine brownies for man who cannot die.

One for Stoat Lord on his Silver Throne

On the Isle of Jeju where the Glutter Glides.

One Chain to burn the Cogs,
One Chain to Pass them,
One Chain for Eleven teeth,
and in His Hubris draft them
On the Roads of Jeju where the Glutter Glides

Hollow Man Sans ........

2005-04-16T02:04:00.000-07:00

ahHH ahhh YESSSSSSSSSSSS this is the life. The life of ease: the balcony Lord. Yes I R00lz my Balcony- my power is unleashed - err well actually it's a looong way down to the place where we started from - to bad that one lass singer got married - no Sarah McLaughlin

( sorry if it's misspelled McLaughlin - but you are married anyway ) ahhh but my point was that was or is and may be my balcony isn't it just marvelously quaint?

Can you see Mount Halla behind me- Yes I r00lz that too... Ciste bless mine great powers.

I was thinking about things ahhh yeah I was thinking of my teaching - well overall the kids are sweet and kind but truth be told I think I'd like to be teaching college literature - which would be intriguing as the students ( should they read the novels ) might be able to have a real deep "big idea" esoteric discourse... But, hmmm it's still fun and I do love kids. The difficulty of course comes when I must needs deal with certain other objects ummm I need to be vague no ahh overall the native teachers here are swell ... oppps- I can not get too detailed could be a Jejuian reading this. Hmmm is that there name Chejuianian or Jejuican?

Anyhow I decided to continue for a time or so. Despite the counter arguments I've determined it is in my best interest to not subsume a new color - I'm happy with my ruddy fat face, and though it grows wrinkly and fatter it is the only thing I have to cushion my brain should a man punch me in the mug anon. I had a few head blows in my time and although I've never sought them out they are in a way an illusion breaking and yet dreamlike experience. I recall a rather humorous crash I had wherein my face smashed the concrete - the lip of my helmet prevented a full head crack but the upper right portion of my face was ground sweetly.

The funny thing was; I was unable to arise after this crash - not because of muscle damage or shock, but simply because my brain would not send the signals to my body - the illusion of self control was shattered and I realized later in recollection that I am indeed subject to destruction- I will and can be hurt there are things harder than me - my head is no match to concrete; my flesh fails me - I am in the end Doomed. It's depressing realizing I can suffer so. I had hoped to outlast the stone and steel that I look down on- but I'm afraid this vessel that holds my essence is cursed with frailty.

But enough of these sad regrets about my failures - subject to the body as everyman. Lets talk about Jeju - ummm well I continue to draft trucks and ride to school now and then. In fact, I am planning on staying here at least another year - but there are other sentients who must cooperate with my plans - and should these men fail me I must then go to University for a Masters - but I hope this will not be the case- we shall see where Providence allows the men to move, and who he places on high - or allows to move as they like - or lay them low. I'm hoping I come out as the returning Jeju Prince - Lord of my Class - but my hand is not the Mighty One and I could be thrown down due to the will of the High One- ("I was judged for my despair because I was unable to understand this.") But I'd hope I'm not so very foolish especially since all those on my island are Subject to my Matchless Arm (The Knight of the Rueful figure I would have Overcome in Single Combat Had I lived in Spain then) and Balcony Castle Rule... wear the Loo! No No just joking.

___________________________________________________________________

For me, therefore, everything has a double existence
Both in time and when time shall be no more
Vanity, vanity, all is vanity
And darkness is on the face of the deep
Who has failed, mankind or the church?
I am weary of my own life
I am weary of those who seek to destroy me
Yet one day the demiurge's workshop will suddenly be stilled
Unimaginable silence
And the form of every single grain will be restored in glory
I was judged for my despair
Because I was unable to understand this
Let thy servant depart;
My Lord and my God, having seen thy salvation
I am a hollow man
I am his double here...

Hollow Man

We are the empty men, we are the masked men
Resting together, cavity, stuffed with straw
Figure, without shape, shadow, without nuance
Impotent power, the empty men
Movement, without action
All who have gone with true vision
To death's higher dwelling, may recall us here
Not as 'damned, destructive ghosts
But only as the empty men
Simply as the masked men
This is the lost land
This is the desert land
Here the graven images are built
Here is the place where they will attain
The entreaty of a lost soul's desire
Beneath the glimmer of a dying sun
Can it be so in death's second domain?
No longer asleep, lonely
At the moment of our greatest compassion
Arms that would embrace
Raised in supplication to toppled altars
Where have the eyes gone?
One finds no eyes here
In this empire of dying suns
In this vacant kingdom
This scattered realm of fallen empires
In this final assembly
We stumble together and are silent
Collected on the shores
Of the river of disturbance, the barren men
And for one moment the eyes reappear
As the eternal Son moving broken stone
In the land of shadow
The last wish of the straw men, empty men

More of ME talking about Myself ahhh I am of Noble Blood afterall... Errr or was that Lord Toad of Toad Hall?

2005-04-11T05:53:00.000-07:00

As to me well my powers of explosive insanity have waxed to their full bloated immensity, around April- now they wane to the nigh mortal strengths of the gangly orangutan that is mine own being. Tis true I am the most fearsome road toad on all the island, all shall be passed or cry out when I waft by them the pungent powers making my passing. Hmm actually I did ride to school today. It was a bit coldish around 58 or so but I am inured to pain having had by lovely chills of hypothermia while I carried out my campaigns during my knight errant days of my hell howling twenties (Marines are WW 1 June 1919 Devil Dogs).

Err ahh yeah I was boasting again let me think for a bit how am I- or more importantly what have I become - have I used my talents for the good or pissed them all on dreams of red sanguine tinto vino and the seeking after the last splash? Ahh well I have been teaching in 'full time employment'. Does that count for anything... I work at two Middle schools with 1-3rd year students ages 14-16 (This means they are around 13-15 in American age). When the kids are very disobedient I give them the famous Vulcan Spock grip by their shoulders. Does this sound crazy hmmm maybe it is but I have yet to hit them on their palms, head, back, or knuckles with a stick - an accepted punishment I've seen done many times here... I can't foresee myself striking the Girls I teach Monday- Wed - should I smacky them? Never! ... It's an all girls school so I leave it to the other teachers.

Am I wrong? Have I gone to far this time? Am I wrong? AM I WRONG?

The lead singer of that band Alice In Chains…. Died alone and was rotten before they found him- such jamming songs from such a misled group of rock stars…Well in case you all are going to try to uphold Old classic rock let us not forget the communist loving antiwar every drug using famous group the Beatles. I know you know their songs but the truth is they were all misled hippies. Sure maybe they sought truth, but if they did fins it they must have rejected it.

Hmmm well now let me be more critical of my own self-imposed conditions rather than contrasting my outwardly goodness with unapologetic hedonist persons. Well I am blasé… about most things... but after some shallow self-searching I have decided I want to get married

So after much thought I've decided to make my own good luck and prosperity and go to China to buy a nice wife. No No just kidding I'm not that pathetic and desperate- I’m therefore I am going to go to the poorest country in Europe (perhaps poorer than many parts of China) yes I am going to take a trip to Moldova and therein enter the churches and look for any girl who is beautiful and talks English. I assume since she is in church she'll be a fine moral Ciste lovin' maid as well. No no I'm still kidding... ahhh maybe when I turn 38 I'll do that but at present I'll just wait on Providence.

Hmmm well the chicks here are way funny I've been out with let me count 10 of them (when I say 9 it really means about twice that much due to the propensity of these ladies to bring their girlfriends with them on the 'date') They go out with me once then pretty much blow me off when I want to spend time with them again…. truly it's plain to even a clown they are just being my friend for the free English lessons. Hmm well anyhow I suppose I am too cynical.
Well not completely though, I had three continuous dating ladies relationships – but it seems like eventually all of them go to Australia or Japan to study languages…

The bonny lass scene here is very limited, as I must choose from the Ingles talking lasses... I can now read Korean after constant bus riding studying sessions... but the truth is I only understand- can say- a few words.

I can say cute kids...

Ahhh lets see what else can I say about my movement though the viscous spam of life before my silver cords cut by God almighty or his Kingdom Come "In the Clouds In the Clouds" (Hmm this is bad cause when I say "In the clouds In the clouds" I think of that "Cult" song)... hmmm well I still have yet to eat the horse here. I had the dog soup- it tastes like bad pork, but a single plate of horsemeat costs 20,000.00 won at a restaurant. (1000 won = about 80 cents) You come visit and we can go get some- your treat.

Am I wrong? Have I gone to far this time? Am I wrong?

I break the speed limit on my bike - I jay walk - I even sometimes eat too much ...

Leap Frog? ahh not sure... hmmm ok well If Piglet was here he would only watch too...

2005-04-11T05:35:00.000-07:00

I teach middle school girls- all the first year ones remind me of crazy tickle me Elmo dolls sooo silly, squeaky and hyper - errr that is a lot of the first year ones- I think they are 13- really twelve American age wise. So here is the crazy punk story about these innocent kids- they possess an innocence only duplicatable if genetics scientist created a bunch of Winnie the Pooh clones. Hmmm maybe it is just a cultural thing and they are not that much more Innocent then the average Western kid their same age- anyhow let me explain the story...

Bored sitting at my desk, I thought I would head up to the class ten minutes early. Before I even arrived in the room I could here excited shouting and spirited laughter. (well actually this is often the rule) I came into the room and beheld the goofiest sight I have yet to see in any institution of learning. Four girls were bent over so the flat of their backs created an "L". They were all horizontal to each other in a line forming a linked ten foot table. But the strangest thing about it was how they were linked-the girls were holding on to each others legs while they had their heads wedged between the thighs of the girl in front.

Meanwhile other girls had taken their shoes off and were running at full speed, springing on top of the horse's back. They continued this horse mounting for about four or five girls worth of weight at which time the horse would collapse in a chorus of childish jubilation. The crazy girls urged me to join in the horse game; however, I prudently declined for obvious reasons.

This game would NEVER happen in America - well maybe with six year olds- but I couldn't even see a bunch of unjaded Amish twelve-year-olds playing this - let alone a suburban group of kids.

Anyhow, there is really no point to this story accept to say that Korean kids are way innocent and silly. I'd take a bullet in the gut for any of 'em no problem - Christ save 'em all.

This is when some of them were outside playing it...

So ahh there is some other Elmos being silly Jesu save 'em all.

Spring Buds Bring Even Smoking Lugs Bolting Through the Asphalt Air Or Why The Prince Came down his Mountain

2005-04-06T07:01:00.000-07:00

These are some small ones who I bothered for a picture- sadly they had no chocolate, but they were cute enough for a photo...

Ahhh then I also observed that "SOME PEOPLE WORK FOR A LIVING!" Ahh but I R00lz by Might and my slow contemplation of judgment...

Guess who is in the background? (Some people work for a living.)

Too or To Ahh Too wax On to no real Point - I'm not the guy who got pointed with a Frag

2005-03-22T04:01:00.000-08:00

Time fades to more loss. The past is memory. The future is a knowledge of wounds carried, and the foreseen finality. Men are under a doom. Humans are sons of dusts. To face the future is to see a legacy you know you will make- or be nothing.
And yet, I must strive to use my powers for the good. For though all men are mortal still they will all live forever somewhere- Or so I believe. Time fades and yet all fading deeds will be recalled. Still my Brothers in the United States Marines strive forth but not all will fall in glorious death. Truth be told there is no glory in being fragged to ribbons. And yet they continue to fall for the freedom of the people in Iraq. I can only hope that they prepared their hearts for the last thrum. I always did.

School is too easy. The students are too happy. But the distance is too far to get there. And the boredom of the commuting is beginning to become too tedious. Sometimes I think it would be too sweet a shock to rejoin my fellow Marines and too go on Crusade against Evil. But then I remember that I too am mortal and the battles of today are settled by too impersonal means to allow me to tag on to the Tourney.
It is a Don Quixote said, when he complained about cowards and modern warfare at the Inn's dinner table. So it is that I too remain separate from that too torn trauma land. Still, I do remember my brothers who give their blood to save a nation from going unto collapse.

What was that ahhh a flash back to some Jeju Spot... Hyeopjae Beach...

Ahh that was somewhere around the center...

Some one in Jeju was wanting to recall Japan ...
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Pooh in the Classroom; Or, "Piglet, why did you just poke me in the belly?"

2005-03-19T06:59:00.000-08:00

This is at my home in Bangkok errr oppps I mean this is me at the King's Palace with some friendly Thai University Lasses.

I am not sure how these twenty something college ladies are doing now... well here in Jeju I can only reflect on my goodly rule of this Paradise...

Reflections on reality are these the things deep thinkers do? Ahhh reality this is the conundrum of fat brained large bottomed thinkers to wish for an unfallen world- is this the curse of mortal men? My desire for world peace, forests of chocolate, and friendly honey bees; is this paradise lost- were chocolate beans really chocolate in the Garden now guarded by an angel with the flaming sword? I'm going to have to find the perfect garden on my next trip to the middle east- you'd think it would have been picked up by satellite photos- but it could be shrouded by a contemplative huff from God's mouth. Anyhow, it's not like I ever will return to the middle east to seek it- my campaign of "Black Boot" terror is over. But, the "Black Boots" may no longer be the description Iraq soldiers give the US Marines as they are now apparently issued tan desert boots just like the well equipped US Army.

Mmmm and here's talking about my current job- or privilege more like: it is my happy task to train up exuberant little Korean teens- Christ save them all. As to the children. well they are doing fine- recently I have had some mildly strange but amusing incidents of belly poking. Let me make this very clear: the bemused victim of this poking is Me, The perpetrator of said poking was a rather silly stomach stabbing female student. Why did she poke me while I walked amongst the students' desks helping them I can not be sure... I asked her, "Hey why did you poke me?" She replied head down humbly , "Sorry sorry."- I repeated seriously hiding my smiling mind, "Why did you poke me in the belly?" her only reply was a submissive and contrite, "Sorry teacher." However, her friend in the desk beside offered the answer of, "Handsome, handsome." At any rate, I did mention to my fellow English teacher in the room, but the Korean teacher offered no explanation nor rebuke to the rather silly student ether. So in retrospect I think it was a friendly sort of light poke that was brought upon by my own magnanimity. And, therefore I suppose I should be flattered. After all I am in sooth...

The Jeju Prince

Angkor Wat Wat it is Yo? Siem Reap: is that a soccer team?

2005-03-07T06:18:00.000-08:00

This is a Hindu temple. I think a King of Cambodia commanded it to be raised for some sort of religious purpose - or maybe he just liked ornate buildings for his legacy. I guess it did not work because I forgot the name of the King who had it erected...

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Koa Toa more Holidays My War has ended and I miss it yo

2005-03-06T05:54:00.000-08:00

Ahh this was on Koa Toa in Thailand on the islet off it called Koh Naangyuan as you can see the island had a large orange Orangutan upon it could it be that he swam from there to the main island... and amphibious assault monkey loved by American civilians but reviled by all naughty ones...

Holiday with no Madonna

2005-03-06T05:30:00.000-08:00

Hello and Welcome to Fat Daddy Isle errr I mean Fantasy isle I am your host Mr. OlePork err Mr. Big Torque I rest now on a Gili Isle but in Thailand I broke a bottom bracket...

Holiday Winter 2005

2005-03-05T16:25:00.000-08:00

This is perhaps the saddest picture I have taken- especially after I realized what the kid's shirt said - I gave them a drink of coke - no money but if I could do it again I would have given these Cambodian beggar girls the biggest Cambodian meal I could find - life is oft a sad and hurtful thing...

Did I say their were two Oz Lasses here and a Large Stoat has apparently befriended them ... no not possible I think no doubt a trick of light...

Oppos I am Behind; Or, Retreating behind from the FEBA is easy if You have no Deadline Or; When there is no Dead line you can retreat past the FEBA

2005-03-05T04:26:00.000-08:00

You know a lot of people would argue It's too late- that the past has destroyed the future and that the small marmots and smaller relations are all a lost cause. Yeah well I will update this after all even if I am behind if not an ass or am I a behind?

So let me chart this out here I like to reflect on a few things first of all on Bali- This was truly an overrated place wherein I was constantly hassled by idiots. I know I know Christ said if you call a man a fool you may be seeing hades- and yet that is the best way to describe these sellers of drugs and whores.

On the subject of drugs there is an old question and joke that I picked up while in my triumphant Crusader Days - Yes truth be told I was one of the force of Hell. I was a Hell Hound, a Devil Dog. This is the June 1919 Honorific given to the United States Marines - we are Hell Hounds.

But ahh back to the ole Marine joke: Marines like to call each other Crack Babies - or ask each other, "Are you on Crack?" or "Was your Mother a Crack Head?" This is an obvious joke here because the US Military routinely and religiously drug tests all of it's members. Therefore, Marines all know that NO ONE in the Marines would use Crack Cocaine or any other drugs. Ok admittedly there are a few exceptions- I mean if you look into the IRS hard enough you may well find someone who has been convicted of cheating on his taxes but it's a rare thing.

Anyhow, to make a long winded explanation clear I did in fact develop the habit of jokingly saying - "Oh he is on Crack." "Sorry I'm on Crack." when in truth I have Never ever used crack cocaine nor would I ever choose to be friends with someone who uses drugs. Now let me tell the story of my first day initial encounter with the incessant drug pushers of Bali:

the ironic situation you have these idiot Bali Drug pushers who are serious about selling drugs and say as I walk past them, "Marijuana?" "Hash?" and I out of silly habit without thinking go, "No no I Smoke crack." Immediately after this I get chased by this idiot drug guy saying, "Cocaine I get you cocaine ok?" And I go, "No no I was joking I hate drugs- get away from me." But the fault was of course my own as I should have never uttered my ingrained Crack joke...

Eventually it just got tooo old...this scenario was repeated tooooooo many times. I stroll down the sidewalk casually perusing the many shops coming back from some body surfing. A young man sees me coming and says,

"Marijuana? I get you Marijuana. You need girl? I get you girl."

This being the twentieth time this has happened to me I yell- No why are you trying to sell me drugs? You want me to get the police! Drugs are bad and I don't get prostitutes."

These idiots tried to sell me ecstasy and mushrooms too. I have no problem with shopkeepers trying to sell me goods, or taxi guys saying' "Trannzport" other than that it was mildly irritating but these illegal sellers began to make me angry. Drugs and Pimpage are two of the world's social diseases that help make the earth such a dammed place. That's right I have a generally negative view of this world- it holds much pure beauty - innocent baby smiles, verdant fields -azul seas, and white mountains; and yet all the self imposed death of it makes me regret the men who filth it. Not to say one should not try to save as much of it as can be salvaged, but on a whole it is a Dammed Wasteland full of Dammed Nonsense, Propagandized by thee Doctrines of Demons. Oppps there goes my chances at teaching in any Close Minded Public University. I will have to keep this blog a secrete - please don't tell anybody at UCLA English Department about this site.

Errr oh yeah yeah I was doing my tirade against Bali ahhh yeah it was overrated. The Ocean was sweet and I caught some monster twelve foot waves- the locals said the waves were unusually large my first day there. On the other hand, the water was riff with floating trash- plastic bags and sundry junk. Further, I felt like a rat trapped in chute with a giant bowling ball cascading towards him. The inner roads were one lane and often walled on both sides- thus when a scooter - or worse, a car came I had to crush myself to the wall or be run over. I'd say about seventy percent of the merchants and renters were polite while the other thirty percent were rude / greedy / and disrespectful. Physically grasping my shoulder will not encourage me to buy your product- but it will ensure that I never again come to your rude country. But, to end on a positive note, I never felt threatened by the very healthy and well dressed beggar kids who asked for coins- rather, I found them amusing and cute - and as far as I know they never tried to pick my pocket: My ole pal -his real face and me with beggars:

Now I find myself confronted with large groups of students ever and anon- God bless 'em all there happy students mostly- unfortunately, I had temporally gotten out of the habit of talking sssllloooww. But, that changed as I was rewarded with looks of bewilderment this week...

Ok well this was a Bali Waterfall THAT IS NOT ME - It is my buddy:

Here is me:

FACE ME !!!

THE NEW LORD OF MONKEYS !!!

I'M NOT AFRIAD OF DEATH ARE YOU ???

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Here is some MTB Rental Abuse... Always wear a helmet mmmm it was a spur of the moment rental...

Ok well this was a Bali Waterfall THAT IS NOT ME - It is my buddy:

The Last Splash in Cambodia: Or where the Wuzzle wasn't but the Rolling Stoat Was

2005-02-10T06:45:00.000-08:00

The Cycling was whacked like Scooter on crack. And I even saw Chim Chim begging for food about the ruined temple grounds. Ahh ok so this is the intro paragraph ahhh and now I will expound on Cycling around Siem Reap in Cambodia...
So today I rented a MTB and blowing off the huge sum of two dollars. I spent my exuberant sweaty time passing scooters, bicycles, cars, buses and Tuk Tuks in search of piled human bones. Yes it twas a killing field I found- the said deaths of eight-thousand was bloodied there. But now the "Killing field is a Pagoda Buddha sanctuary complete with monks who told me they spend their donations going giving food and funding the educations of the local orphans.
[I give the ole Pooh Hug to a small cute punk - Just think a short while ago screams of the slaughtered and the pain filled eyes of the slain were all that were here along with the evil faces of the killers]

So let's discourse on the course of the visual meal- a bit dry well smiling skulls no longer salivate. The Monks took it upon themselves to gather up thousands of the bones and place them in a sort of round building with two glass doors approximately 10 meters around and 8 meters tall. I'll hazard the guess that it is a sort of religious pagoda structure / tomb but I'm not sure... But, it was an impressive...it impressed me that men are flesh and then white bone when that ends.

I passingly inquired where the killing field actually was of a twenty-something monk speaking with his fellows under a wooden arbor. He informed me that the killing field was all around me and that their were still plenty of corpses buried about in everywhere here. They had a joke with each other as three of them tried on my high zoot cycle helmet commenting that cycling and walking were very good implying motorized transportation was unfavorable. I then asked him about his religious experience- had he felt the presence of God or felt some kind of love? He explained that his mind was very clear- pointing to his head and empathized that by following the five rules of Buddhism he was able to have a clear mind. Overall they all seemed friendly fellows and did NOT even ask me for money for their background information on this now peaceful killing field.
Truth be told my power was greater than any on the road- the locals seemed fascinated that I easily paced with their paltry 105 scooters. However, it was a bit irritating as the MTB I was woefully heavy and ill fitted for me. But I had a good time racing side by side with the elated scooter boyos who couldn't believe I was going over twenty miles an hour on a bicycle. Ok enough boosting- pride comes before the fall and my scarred face can attest too both. I'll have some pictures of very joyful but rather dirty kids...

Cambodia Dirt absorption; Or, I see The Hefalumps were Busy Bees

2005-02-09T08:18:00.000-08:00

poor beggar girls I gave them some coke at least

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Ahhh Yeah Hefalumps very large Creatures they be- and yet the Hefalump, or Elephant is also a Useful worker who, by my guess, did some hard work building the Temples of Angkor in Cambodia. You know a lot of people will tell you that Hefalumps and Wuzzles should be hunted and cooked in glazed honey after being properly caught and butchered- but this is where Winnie the Pooh and Piglet tangent off from my feelings for the elephant. Not to say I would not try sampling a properly prepared Elephant Steak - after all they kind of look like overgrown pigs, but ahhh I like to think that they are also friendly and helpful animals. Errr but my point is I explored and photo shot all Angkor Thom, the Main Temple; Angkor Wat; and another one ahhh I'll have to edit this but it's the one ruined temple one with all the 15 foot thick 900 hundred year old trees in it.
But let me digress into my story the travel here was terrible terrible a true test of glut and ham strength. More than 90 percent of the seven hour journey from the Thailand border to Siem Reap Cambodia was on bumpy dirt roads. The worthless "VIP Bus" had no AC to speak of and broke down twice- the first was a flat, and the second was a steering failure. Both break downs were amusing opportunities for the locals and the travelers alike as we both took time to gather around our mechanic / bus driver and joked and stared at each other.
Ahh the Temple(s) were monolithic enormous time worn efforts that must of been the death of many a poor peasant around 1000 years ago (opps my time could be off 100 years or so I yet to finish reading my Angkorl Book). They look so much more marvelous and mysterious then the best Tomb Raider/ Indiana Jones / or Lord of The Rings Book ever did. Tomorrow I am planning to kill my day visiting a nearby killing field by bike. Ahhh not to say the murder was done by bicycle- thats just how I'm planning to arrive there- not to imply I will be slain while riding my bike- I mean to say I'll visit the site of slaughter via a rented bicycle. On the other hand Jesu forbid it but I could be slain on my way to the killing fields by a truckload of Democratic Market going Pigs - that is I think Cambodia is a Democracy so when they sell deliver ham it may go by truck.
Ahh right so ahh I met to fine Italians I spent the day with here touring and luckily for me they warded off the Denmark Ladies who seem to have a fascination with me - the Omniscient alone knows why. But the point is that my poor bottom got a beating sitting in the back of a pickup truck for three hours since our ancient mini-"VIP" bus died. 17 people in one pickup- including all our baggage I went Donald Duck Quacky on the driver and asked what he was thinking when he informed his base to only bring one pickup truck for us... but God Bless us all none of us rebounded out of the back. Ok so ahh let's see another point to go over is that Cambodians seem to like US dollars better - I think it is because charging one dollar for a can of coke is an instant profit. Err and the other point is ahhh Cambodian dancing is graceful but boring I much prefer Hula Hawaiian, hip hop head spinners, Dancers or leaping ballet Classics. Also, I like to advise everyone coming to Cambodia to make sure the vehicle transporting them ether flies or is an off road jacked up vehicle else your buttocks pain is your own problem...

The Orca Exits the Agua; or How Pooh made plans to Visit Pol Pot's Playground

2005-02-06T09:37:00.000-08:00

Well after my successful forays of orange orangutan wetness I have left the water behind- truth is I left Koa Toa Saturday, and now sojourn in my 100 baht backpacker closet. You know a lot of people would argue I should have taken the 750 or 1000 baht apartments with my own sink, AC, and assuredly cleaner linen; however, this is the way of the weasel: true stoats live in dirty holes - I ain't no fat little hobbit would needs comforts and pristine apartments. So ahhh the point is I am delaying my sleep a bit as I am not am not so eager for my thin mattress. I'm in B4 at the Sugar Backpacker Inn of Kosung Road- now this is arguably foolish to publish via the internet since if anybody out there was a true psycho they could set up an ambush for me when I walk to the shower but ahhh I'll tkae the risk seeing as how unlikely it is that anybody actually reads this. Ahhh so yeah I was thinking to do a bit of shopping tomorrow - I'm going to try the Pantrip Plaza (oh by the way all the Thai names here are likely spelled wrong do a Justin and Cry me a river.) Ahhh yeah Pantrip Plaza has all the electronic garbage you could ever strive for- also I am going to The Cannondale Center Bicycle shop.

So hmm maybe Tuesday then I will go to the largest ruined temple in the world in Cambodia - then I'll go to this one sweet beach city afterwards that said to be the idyllic sea stretch. The best thing about the ferry trip back was Sarah and Martha {err or Marta?} my two Norway buddies. Not only did they laugh at my lost in the Kuwait desert Marine story they never even asked how old I was... anyhow I hope they have a fine time doing their advanced studies in Australia and quit smoking too - the only flaw I could find with these two exuberant, kind, thoughtful lasses. Now I have a fourth reason to got to Oz Skippy my ole camp chum being the first J. being the second and so on...ok time to find my little shack of a room now.

Young pretty Ladies who are way smart near nurses too- I bet tey know 'bout that sceince stuff... but their kindness is far from my island now they shall care for others God bless 'em.

The Lord of Battles or the Cowardly Piglet – Your Call

2005-01-30T05:51:00.000-08:00

Hmm well I saw a lethal fast mover today he was patrolling about two meters under the salt moving wayyyy faster than I could ever hope of matching. He was the Shark a two meter cruiser that choose to ignore me. Unfortunately, I decided to withdraw to the secured beach position – not because I was truly scared (though it is true I oft admired Piglet in his wise fear of Heffalumps) ahh no I withdrew just for the drama factor you know to pretend I was in some sort of Monster Movie- and truth be told my camera was not shooting anymore. Thus, I withdrew and fell in love with the French or I should say a French Lady named Sophia; well no I did not really fall in love with her but she was a charming lady- a pity as she was there with her boyfriend whom I advised that he should marry her.
Ahhh but the point is ahhh:
"I have failed in the task."
Beowulf the Sea Monster Killer would be shamed – no blood of the shark went into my pot and no creature fell to my aquatic might – errr actually I was unarmed so I'd of had to strangle the shark, which might not of worked as he did not have a proper neck. Besides, I've been careful not to step on any of the coral nor molest any of the creatures herein as it is against my stewardship values. So the whole point is I am not the immortal killer men blazon unto me – and besides Beowulf himself succumbed to another ancient and feared monster the Dragon – where as Piglet would have survived. Regardless, on the morrow I shall again go to the shark point and seek more of these beasts to frame into the control of my underwater camera I'll post pictures sometime in March when I scan them at my school for free.

Eating with the Glut or Marry me I am Smaug the Pony Devourer

2005-01-28T21:50:00.000-08:00

I hear the baby cry poor punky kid hmmm it is changing time in the Koa Toa PC Room. It is a tough life I lead having people wait on me every day and smile at my dumb jokes. 40 baht= 1kilo of laundry done Christ save poor Boo or Lake (Ok I am writing the Thai ladies' names phonetically sorry no clue how to spell them) of the My favorite one that I do with every lady baker / restaurant cook is: "MMM this food is soooo good are you married?" if the befuddled lady answers, "Yes." I then rub my eyes with my closed fist mournfully saying I I wanted to marry you and you cook for me every day. But, in this case- as in the Tantoe View Resort ( I highly recommend it too) she answered, "No not married." I jubilantly smiled and spurted, "Ahhh you marry me and cook for me every day. I get big and fat" To which the English fluent Thai owner interjected, "No No Thai food don't make you fat. It healthy." unfortunately there is always God question that must come betwixt my would be wife and I- the Thailand people are mostly Buddhist seeking after a state that I can not acquiesces to. Err that is I do not believe in the core Buddhist Dogma...Ergo are future harmony would not be. Ahhh but the point is Thai food is da bigggeddy biggedyy Bomb as Kevin Boyd would say. I should write more on the Snorkeling I am doing here next post maybe... opps correction I now am going to say I reccomend it somewhat ahhh some quibbling service issues have made me less fond of the Tantoe View Resort... ahh I will move on to another the day after today maybe Mae Haad...

Koa Toa or Goat or Shark?

2005-01-20T16:47:00.000-08:00

There was a time or two I doubted the movement through the syrup of time. The cloying gooo stuck on me and slowed me down. Memories are sometimes old wounds that play in your guts like the remnants of a Frag that joked through your flak jacket. I journey onward today to Koa Toa and Bali... What will I find in my time? - Large bowls of curry goat? A blue sea clearer than the mind of a martyr? Or my gory and painful death at the hands of the largest shark that ever swam into the costal waters? I will skin dive all the day. Or will I glut some fine roasted shark on a Koa Toa beach? Will I find my Spartan dream Lass- a big shouldered surf and MTB Road race Amazon who can out swim me? Time will tell, but Stoats cannot tell time. I can, and as it bleeds from existence so it crushes the strongest men. So I'll have to smear my allotted moments on things I won't later regret... There were some things I should have done and some more I shouldn't have, but everybody has a few regrets....I suppose God had no regrets errr maybe except he for when he regretted making men.

Me and some Jeju Hagi Kids

2005-01-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

This is the best picture I think I got of cute Korean kids - if you can beat the punky factor on this you must be in Heaven with angels- no but they are cute little punks, My guess on what they are thinking is, "Mama why are you taking our picture with this strange foreigner? - he's sweaty and smells like an overgrown Stoat."

The Jeju Prince Rides about ahhh Jeju

2005-01-16T10:25:00.000-08:00

Hmm well the picture above is where I stop to greet my small harmless subjects. As the kind and fearless - on the bike this has caused me injury - Prince of Jeju it is my sworn duty to protect them- and make sure they give up any chocolate or cookies unto me should they so hold them. In this case these small girls had no food stuffs so I had to settle with a happy picture that catches my summer glory... no actually the kids are much cutter than me.

As I said a picture too start off of who else - me on the high point of the 1100 meter road...

Ahhh is this an Intro? The First Post; or How a Stoat Started His Writ

2005-01-16T10:10:00.000-08:00

Hmm so I will start with a picture of well- me. I claimed this high mountain top- errr ah 1,100 meter somewhat lofty point as mine own. But, I'd also like to thank all the kind people who have fed me along the way; for even Smaug the Golden Once was a tad smaller before he usurped the greedy hoarding Dwarves from The Lonely Mountain. In all seriousness though, it was a fine climb and upon my descent must I admit to all-car passing and forgetful insanity as the speed and power of my 11X53 spinning propelled me forward to dine on the wind, curves, and tourist vehicles that I flew past in my glut for swiftness.

Ok this is the first entry here...Hmm so my name is Dan- I rule Jeju form the front of my middle school classes and behind the cars, buses, and trucks I draft on my Merlin road bike- unless I pass them. Not much to say- I am working today on my vacation. But, this is the way of the Korean teacher: KorTeachShido not Boshido- the way of the warrior. Whoa that's a pathetic pun better stop now.