The Last Splash in Cambodia: Or where the Wuzzle wasn't but the Rolling Stoat Was

The Cycling was whacked like Scooter on crack. And I even saw Chim Chim begging for food about the ruined temple grounds. Ahh ok so this is the intro paragraph ahhh and now I will expound on Cycling around Siem Reap in Cambodia...
So today I rented a MTB and blowing off the huge sum of two dollars. I spent my exuberant sweaty time passing scooters, bicycles, cars, buses and Tuk Tuks in search of piled human bones. Yes it twas a killing field I found- the said deaths of eight-thousand was bloodied there. But now the "Killing field is a Pagoda Buddha sanctuary complete with monks who told me they spend their donations going giving food and funding the educations of the local orphans.
[I give the ole Pooh Hug to a small cute punk - Just think a short while ago screams of the slaughtered and the pain filled eyes of the slain were all that were here along with the evil faces of the killers]

So let's discourse on the course of the visual meal- a bit dry well smiling skulls no longer salivate. The Monks took it upon themselves to gather up thousands of the bones and place them in a sort of round building with two glass doors approximately 10 meters around and 8 meters tall. I'll hazard the guess that it is a sort of religious pagoda structure / tomb but I'm not sure... But, it was an impressive...it impressed me that men are flesh and then white bone when that ends.


I passingly inquired where the killing field actually was of a twenty-something monk speaking with his fellows under a wooden arbor. He informed me that the killing field was all around me and that their were still plenty of corpses buried about in everywhere here. They had a joke with each other as three of them tried on my high zoot cycle helmet commenting that cycling and walking were very good implying motorized transportation was unfavorable. I then asked him about his religious experience- had he felt the presence of God or felt some kind of love? He explained that his mind was very clear- pointing to his head and empathized that by following the five rules of Buddhism he was able to have a clear mind. Overall they all seemed friendly fellows and did NOT even ask me for money for their background information on this now peaceful killing field.
Truth be told my power was greater than any on the road- the locals seemed fascinated that I easily paced with their paltry 105 scooters. However, it was a bit irritating as the MTB I was woefully heavy and ill fitted for me. But I had a good time racing side by side with the elated scooter boyos who couldn't believe I was going over twenty miles an hour on a bicycle. Ok enough boosting- pride comes before the fall and my scarred face can attest too both. I'll have some pictures of very joyful but rather dirty kids...

Cambodia Dirt absorption; Or, I see The Hefalumps were Busy Bees

poor beggar girls I gave them some coke at least

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Ahhh Yeah Hefalumps very large Creatures they be- and yet the Hefalump, or Elephant is also a Useful worker who, by my guess, did some hard work building the Temples of Angkor in Cambodia. You know a lot of people will tell you that Hefalumps and Wuzzles should be hunted and cooked in glazed honey after being properly caught and butchered- but this is where Winnie the Pooh and Piglet tangent off from my feelings for the elephant. Not to say I would not try sampling a properly prepared Elephant Steak - after all they kind of look like overgrown pigs, but ahhh I like to think that they are also friendly and helpful animals. Errr but my point is I explored and photo shot all Angkor Thom, the Main Temple; Angkor Wat; and another one ahhh I'll have to edit this but it's the one ruined temple one with all the 15 foot thick 900 hundred year old trees in it.
But let me digress into my story the travel here was terrible terrible a true test of glut and ham strength. More than 90 percent of the seven hour journey from the Thailand border to Siem Reap Cambodia was on bumpy dirt roads. The worthless "VIP Bus" had no AC to speak of and broke down twice- the first was a flat, and the second was a steering failure. Both break downs were amusing opportunities for the locals and the travelers alike as we both took time to gather around our mechanic / bus driver and joked and stared at each other.
Ahh the Temple(s) were monolithic enormous time worn efforts that must of been the death of many a poor peasant around 1000 years ago (opps my time could be off 100 years or so I yet to finish reading my Angkorl Book). They look so much more marvelous and mysterious then the best Tomb Raider/ Indiana Jones / or Lord of The Rings Book ever did. Tomorrow I am planning to kill my day visiting a nearby killing field by bike. Ahhh not to say the murder was done by bicycle- thats just how I'm planning to arrive there- not to imply I will be slain while riding my bike- I mean to say I'll visit the site of slaughter via a rented bicycle. On the other hand Jesu forbid it but I could be slain on my way to the killing fields by a truckload of Democratic Market going Pigs - that is I think Cambodia is a Democracy so when they sell deliver ham it may go by truck.
Ahh right so ahh I met to fine Italians I spent the day with here touring and luckily for me they warded off the Denmark Ladies who seem to have a fascination with me - the Omniscient alone knows why. But the point is that my poor bottom got a beating sitting in the back of a pickup truck for three hours since our ancient mini-"VIP" bus died. 17 people in one pickup- including all our baggage I went Donald Duck Quacky on the driver and asked what he was thinking when he informed his base to only bring one pickup truck for us... but God Bless us all none of us rebounded out of the back. Ok so ahh let's see another point to go over is that Cambodians seem to like US dollars better - I think it is because charging one dollar for a can of coke is an instant profit. Err and the other point is ahhh Cambodian dancing is graceful but boring I much prefer Hula Hawaiian, hip hop head spinners, Dancers or leaping ballet Classics. Also, I like to advise everyone coming to Cambodia to make sure the vehicle transporting them ether flies or is an off road jacked up vehicle else your buttocks pain is your own problem...

The Orca Exits the Agua; or How Pooh made plans to Visit Pol Pot's Playground

Well after my successful forays of orange orangutan wetness I have left the water behind- truth is I left Koa Toa Saturday, and now sojourn in my 100 baht backpacker closet. You know a lot of people would argue I should have taken the 750 or 1000 baht apartments with my own sink, AC, and assuredly cleaner linen; however, this is the way of the weasel: true stoats live in dirty holes - I ain't no fat little hobbit would needs comforts and pristine apartments. So ahhh the point is I am delaying my sleep a bit as I am not am not so eager for my thin mattress. I'm in B4 at the Sugar Backpacker Inn of Kosung Road- now this is arguably foolish to publish via the internet since if anybody out there was a true psycho they could set up an ambush for me when I walk to the shower but ahhh I'll tkae the risk seeing as how unlikely it is that anybody actually reads this. Ahhh so yeah I was thinking to do a bit of shopping tomorrow - I'm going to try the Pantrip Plaza (oh by the way all the Thai names here are likely spelled wrong do a Justin and Cry me a river.) Ahhh yeah Pantrip Plaza has all the electronic garbage you could ever strive for- also I am going to The Cannondale Center Bicycle shop.

So hmm maybe Tuesday then I will go to the largest ruined temple in the world in Cambodia - then I'll go to this one sweet beach city afterwards that said to be the idyllic sea stretch. The best thing about the ferry trip back was Sarah and Martha {err or Marta?} my two Norway buddies. Not only did they laugh at my lost in the Kuwait desert Marine story they never even asked how old I was... anyhow I hope they have a fine time doing their advanced studies in Australia and quit smoking too - the only flaw I could find with these two exuberant, kind, thoughtful lasses. Now I have a fourth reason to got to Oz Skippy my ole camp chum being the first J. being the second and so on...ok time to find my little shack of a room now.

Young pretty Ladies who are way smart near nurses too- I bet tey know 'bout that sceince stuff... but their kindness is far from my island now they shall care for others God bless 'em.